What Makes a Good Coach Better?
Becoming a better coach isn’t just about learning new skills. It’s about staying curious about how we coach—recognizing our strengths, noticing our blind spots, and remaining willing to grow even when coaching has become comfortable.
Growing as a Coach — Part 1
When we first learn to coach, growth can feel pretty obvious. We learn new skills. We practice asking better questions. We discover what it means to listen differently, resist the urge to give advice, and allow the client to do more of the thinking. If we're pursuing an ICF credential, we become familiar with the Core Competencies and begin paying attention to what effective coaching actually looks like.
There is a lot to learn—and usually plenty of evidence that we're learning it.
But something interesting can happen once we've been coaching for a while. We get comfortable.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. With experience comes confidence. Conversations begin to flow more naturally. We don't have to think quite so hard about what question to ask next. We develop instincts that help us recognize patterns, stay curious, and trust the coaching process.
But comfort can also make growth harder to see.
When Competence Becomes Comfortable
One of the challenges of becoming an experienced coach is that we develop ways of coaching that work. Certain questions tend to produce good conversations. Certain approaches fit our personality. Clients respond well to us. They make progress. They refer other people to us. All of that can reinforce the idea that we're doing pretty well.
And perhaps we are.
But there's an important difference between being a competent coach and being a growing coach. A competent coach has developed skills that work. A growing coach remains curious about those skills.
Why did I ask that question? What was happening with the client that I may have missed? Was I following the client's agenda—or subtly following my own? Where did I become uncomfortable? What do I consistently do well, and where might I still be playing it safe?
These aren't questions we ask because we're failing as coaches. They're questions we ask because growth requires awareness.
When Strengths Become Blind Spots
Over time, every coach develops a coaching style. Perhaps you're naturally empathetic and create a wonderful sense of safety for your clients. Maybe you're particularly good at helping people see possibilities. Perhaps you notice patterns quickly, ask challenging questions, or help clients move toward action.
Those are strengths worth celebrating. But our strengths can also become places where we stop paying attention.
The coach who creates tremendous safety may sometimes hesitate to challenge. The coach who sees patterns quickly may occasionally get ahead of the client. The coach who loves action may move toward solutions before enough discovery has happened. And the coach who asks powerful questions may sometimes be so focused on the next question that they miss what just happened in the conversation.
Growth doesn't necessarily mean replacing these strengths. Often, it means becoming more intentional about how and when we use them.
That's a different kind of learning than simply acquiring another coaching technique.
Growth Requires a Mirror
There's another challenge: most of us coach alone.
Once our formal training is finished, there may be very few people who actually hear us coach. We move from conversation to conversation, doing meaningful work with clients, but rarely have another experienced coach observing us. That makes it difficult to see our own patterns.
It's a little like trying to see the back of your own head without a mirror.
Reflection helps. Continuing education helps. Reading about coaching and listening to good coaching helps. But sometimes we need another person to notice what we can't see ourselves.
That's one of the things I've come to appreciate about mentor coaching. At its best, mentor coaching isn't simply about satisfying a credentialing requirement or demonstrating the ICF competencies correctly. It's an opportunity to become more aware of who we are becoming as coaches.
What comes naturally to us? Where are we growing? Where might we be getting in our own way? And what would happen if we became just a little more intentional in one or two areas of our coaching?
So, Where Are You Growing?
As coaches, we regularly invite our clients to stretch, experiment, notice patterns, and move beyond what's comfortable. It's worth occasionally turning that same invitation toward ourselves.
So here's a question I'd encourage you to sit with this week:
When was the last time you intentionally examined how you coach—not simply whether your clients are getting results?
Maybe there's a strength you want to deepen, a competency you'd like to understand more fully, or a habit you're beginning to notice. Or perhaps you've simply reached a place where coaching feels comfortable—and you sense it's time to stretch again.
You don't need ten things to work on. One is enough.
Becoming a better coach rarely happens through one dramatic breakthrough. More often, it happens through curiosity, reflection, feedback, practice—and the willingness to remain a learner.
And I hope that's something none of us ever outgrow.
-Tim
If you're looking for a place to continue growing as a coach while completing your mentor coaching requirements, let’s talk!