Transition Talk

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” -Ephesians‬ ‭4:29‬ ‭NIV‬ 

Conversations during seasons of transition have the potential to become volatile. We may go into a meeting with the best of intentions, but the insecurity and anxiety connected with transition can trip us up, and before we know it we are saying things we regret.

This same insecurity and anxiety causes others to withdraw. Whether the conversation is with a family member, friend, co-worker, or simply the clerk at the grocery store, we can find ourselves preoccupied and disengaged. We turn inward, feeling like the present has no real purpose. Mentally and emotionally we are already on to the next thing, whatever that is.

When these become our default responses in transition conversations  1) the talks we should have never occur because avoidance is easier in the short-term, or  2) the conversation takes place, but has a negative outcome for both parties. Either way, successful transition is hindered because of a short-term approach.

A great goal to have for healthy transition is to maintain a long-term perspective. If you are the one leaving, ask yourself, Could I circle back to these relationships 5 years from now? 10 years from now?  Project yourself into that situation. How do you want your next encounter with this individual to feel?

If you are the one staying you might ask, How do I feel about our relationship? What could make it better? When it comes time for me to make a transition, how would I like to feel upon my departure? How can I help this person feel that way?

This long-term approach can give us the motivation we need to invest in life-giving conversations, even through difficult transitions.

So, how does transition impact your social skills? Are you more likely to speak out of impatience or anger? Or would you prefer to crawl into your transition "shell", never to be seen again? Either way, with some long-term thinking, some great counsel  from God's word, and a shot of courage, you can successfully navigate your transition, and help others to do the same.

What would it look like to see each conversation as an opportunity to affirm and encourage some really significant people in your life? Ephesians 4:29 sets the backdrop for a really great conversation to take place, even during high stress transition times. When coupled with David Pollack's RAFT model for healthy transitions, the potential is there to transform transition conversations into what they should be: AFFIRMING.

Need help navigating your transition? Go HERE.

Baskets, Ropes and Strong Hands

We normally perceive the Apostle Paul as bold, courageous and somewhat independent. He was not one to let anything stand in his way, let alone some fellow Jews and an earthly king who were trying to take his life. I've often wondered about the placement and point of 2 Corinthians 11:33 which states, "In Damascus the governor under King Aretas had the city of the Damascenes guarded in order to arrest me. But I was lowered in a basket from a window in the wall and slipped through his hands."  What's the significance, particularly in relationship to the rest of the chapter? At first glance this doesn't seem to match up with Paul's boast of weakness.  But let's have another look.

The truth is that Paul understood and acknowledged his weaknesses.  In fact, this is a striking picture of a man who had come to the end of his rope and needed a new one, a rope with a basket on one end and strong hands on the other.  He was "let down through a window in a basket."!

A basket, a rope and someone else's hands to grasp and lower Paul down to safety.  I imagine Paul curled up in a fetal position inside this basket.  By no means is this a visual picture of strength and courage! Visualize this man of faith in a basket and you begin to understand the interplay between courageous faith and times of weakness.  One could say that living out of a sense of weakness takes more courage compared to living out of a feelings of strength.

Prayer: Lord, today I feel weak and vulnerable.  I need a basket, a rope and some strong hands to carry me through my trial. Thanks for helping me and bringing me safely to the other side.