Why Coaching Works: Three Real-Life Situations

Coaching is flexible.

As seasons change and situations shift, great life coaching can remain a relevant piece of your support structure. This is especially true in this journey called life, where adapting to change is a key component of our ability to thrive. Here’s an example which highlights the beauty of coaching - being both intentional and flexible at the same time…

Randy and his family live in Eastern Europe. He came to me for coaching around some disillusionment and discouragement he was experiencing. He had been questioning his personal calling and purpose as an expat working overseas. We were just getting started with a series of coaching sessions, focused on life purpose discovery, when COVID-19 hit. The result was a rug-pulled-out transition rather than a planned one. We quickly shifted our coaching sessions to focus on processing, debriefing and planning for the immediate future. We will eventually return to our original agenda together, but for now this is how our coaching relationship can remain most relevant.

The beauty of a good coaching relationship is that it can creatively adapt. Coaching can and should be flexible!

Coaching helps redefine productivity.

Productivity which lacks purpose is not sustainable to emotional and spiritual vitality.

At some point productivity and purpose must intersect. This may come as a surprise , but great life coaching is not only about getting more done. I think in some circles there’s this false perception of coaching, that it merely focuses on areas of efficiency and productivity. The coach, in other words, is here to help you “win big.” What does that even mean?

More often than not, coach and client are addressing heart issues, underlying motivations, and core values, all of which help us make better decisions and win at life in the right way.

That’s not to say being productive isn’t important; it’s about defining what that looks like…

Sally, another client I work with, has set some very admirable goals related to writing and publishing her next book. While our coaching clearly needs to address measurable output and deadlines, Sally is just as concerned with what flows from her heart, not merely her hands. For example, she’s working on developing a rhythm of pauses throughout her day in order to ground herself and re-focus on God, the Source of her creativity. Since she struggles being consistent in this area, this has become part of our coaching agenda as we work together toward productivity and purpose.

Couples coaching is doable!

While couples coaching is not for the faint of heart, it can meet a real need.

Couples coaching can be effective in a number of contexts, but most of the couples I coach are going through some kind of big transition. Transitions, especially ones that impact the whole family (and most of them do), are fertile ground for spouses to team up with a coach together.

Tom and Emily are making a big move from a large city to a rural village in their host country in South America. Everything is changing for them and their two children. They are leaving a supportive community, established ministry roles, and trading private Christian school for homeschooling. While excited about the new in the transition, they want to make sure they aren’t leaving any unfinished business behind as they make plans for the future.

Emily is the list person in their marriage. Oh yes, those never-ending transition lists! She loves the fact that she can run through her list in our coaching sessions, while getting input from Tom and a clarifying question or two from me. Tom wants to lead his family well through these changes. He’s aware of his blind spots and uses our coaching time to establish boundaries and get honest feedback from Emily and myself. Together, they are realizing and honoring each other’s contributions and strengths they bring to this transition season.

These are just a few examples of how coaching addresses the needs of people in real-life situations, possibly in ways you weren’t aware of. What else would you like to know about coaching and how it may be a good fit for the season you’re in?  Help me write my next post with your comments!

Interested in being coached? Book a discovery call with me HERE.

Author’s Note: Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Building Resilience

Difficult times test our level of resilience.

In the animal kingdom we may think of resilience in terms of an animal’s ability to adapt and survive under extreme conditions. What about in the world of humans?

Here’s a few definitions of resilience from the Cambridge dictionary…

• The ability to be happy or successful again after something difficult or bad has happened.

• The ability of a substance to return to its usual shape after being bent, stretched or pressed.

• The quality of being able to return quickly to a previously good condition after problems.

Personally I like to think of resilience as the ability to successfully bounce back from difficulty and adapt to change.

When we approach resilience from a biblical worldview we understand that God desires for his children to thrive and live out their purpose even in the midst of trouble. As Christ followers, we’re called to be overcomers. And that takes resilience.

Resilience is likely to be tested during the coming weeks and months among the thousands of people who witnessed the terror of last month’s Camp Fire which devastated the town of Paradise, California. This was very close to my home town of Chico. There are many stories of heroism and survival coming out of this event, but the stories of resilience are still being written.

While surviving a disaster such as this takes place in seconds, minutes and hours, resilience is proven over time and ultimately infuses our lives with purpose and meaning. According to Hebrews chapter 11 this is what a life of faith is all about.

The truth is we risk defeat when we fail to recognize our need to develop resilience skills and put them to use. Ultimate success comes to those who learn and use resilience skills toward a favorable outcome.

We all have some degree of resiliency skills. When change and difficulties are relatively minor, we adapt and move on. But when facing mounting problems and life-altering transitions, we can easily become stuck. The good news is that resiliency is a muscle we can grow when we take advantage of additional support and resources. 

In the summer of 2016 we transitioned as a family back to the U.S., following 20 years of overseas life. Now, more than 2 years later, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to my wife or a trusted friend, “I never realized how hard this would be.” Adjustment and recovery take time. Resilience is vital to the process.

How are you doing in the resilience area? Here are some questions for self-reflection…

How am I feeling about this problem and my ability to get through it in a healthy manner?

What am I doing to prepare myself in order to successfully navigate this transition?

Is my natural tendency toward rigidity or flexibility? How is this impacting my relationships?

Where am I feeling stuck and in need of support or resources?

Have I settled into my new normal? Am I resisting things I cannot change?

What is upsetting my world right now and how am I responding to it?

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I realize this is a long list of questions, but maybe one or two them stand out to you. Which ones? Pause and consider...

Final question: How resilient are you and what do you need to take your resilience to the next level?

Take a step toward better resilience by scheduling a complementary discovery coaching session HERE.

Until next time,