Crossroads and the Big Decisions
God’s way, I've come to realize, is transition. And it works its wonders differently each time. One thing is certain: transition leads us to the crossroads of decision. Here are some important steps to take when navigating your transition crossroads...
God’s way, I've come to realize, is transition.
Oh, it feels different each time. Sometimes change hits us abruptly, with no warning whatsoever. Or it can be subtle, like the first signs of fall after a long summer. Transition can serve as a boot camp of sorts, preparing us for some bold new adventure. Sometimes mostly outward circumstances change. Other times big internal shifts take place, impacting core values, identity and purpose.
One thing is certain: transitions lead us to the crossroads of decision.
Recently, on the heels of a major transition, I came across this invitation from scripture:
“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’”
Take Time to Stand…
Transitions are opportunities to stand between the juncture of two or more paths and consider the options. A posture of stillness prepares us to see what we may otherwise not see and to make navigational adjustments while it’s not too late. Fools rush in, so the saying goes. Nonetheless one part of me wants to heed the world’s urgent call to action, “Don't just stand there, do something!”
Standing, in one sense, is stopping long enough to make sense of it all.
Our fast-paced culture tends to downplay the need for disciplines like stillness and solitude. But what if there is more heroism in the act of standing than we would dare to think? When we take time to put on the brakes and to stand at a crossroads we are more likely to end up in a good place when it’s all said and done...
“Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet.”
Look Again. What do you See?
There is more to the process than simply stopping. It's possible to stop and stand at a crossroads yet miss the message. So, what can we do?
During a recent transition, being presented with another big decision made me want to crawl into a hole. The wisest counsel I received was to pause, to give myself time and space to breathe. Difficult transitions can be complicated by decision fatigue, “the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual after a long session (or in my case season) of decision making.” (Wikipedia). During these times why not linger a bit at the crossroads, allowing God’s unhurried wisdom and counsel to take over?
When we pause long enough and observe closely, we may find ourselves moving beyond merely looking at the fog and thus raising the stress level; we actually may begin seeing options and opportunities through the fog!
When it’s time to ask…
At some stage of transition we need to inquire. We need to ask for clarity, for direction.
Asking well requires the art of a waiting with a listening ear. Do you ever get annoyed when someone asks you a question but doesn't wait for the answer? My wife can tell you that I have a tendency of not stopping long enough to hear the answer to the question I'm asking, especially in decision fatigue moments. Thankfully she gives me more patience and grace than I deserve.
Ancient paths are the good ways. They are proven and trustworthy. but they are not necessarily the most well-worn. It takes courage, discipline and a sense of adventure in order to trod these paths (for more read Hebrews 11 in the Bible). Are we stopping long enough and with intentionality to see the best options, the God-honoring ones?
Walk in it…
Take it…the road that is. At some critical juncture we must heed the call to action. What will it take to walk in the path you are now destined for? Through the process of standing, observing and asking, you can reach the clarity and confidence to pursue new, unfamiliar paths. A personal guide awaits us,
“But I’ll take the hand of those who don’t know the way, who can’t see where they’re going. I’ll be a personal guide to them, directing them through unknown country. I’ll be right there to show them what roads to take, make sure they don’t fall into the ditch. These are the things I’ll be doing for them—sticking with them, not leaving them for a minute.”
What do you need to move forward? Courage? Accountability? Rest?
Rest…
Believe it or not, this is really the goal of the whole process…to enter into rest, a quiet, unhurried confidence which has learned the secret of walking with the Creator through times of transition.
Moving forward at a crossroads is something that can be greatly enhanced by working with a life coach specializing in transitions. Need a supportive partner to journey with you in transition or know someone who does? Contact us HERE.
Lost in Transition
Transition Companion is now available on Amazon in both kindle and print formats!
Happy fall and thanks for putting up with my silence over the past few months. Lost in Transition is more than a catchy title for this post; it's been a reality of life. Lately, I've been feeling like the prophet's admonishment to God's people is for me:
“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Often times, my default response during a prolonged transition is to act, to do something. Ironically, the productive me is what I'm desperate to restore on the heels of transition, but God has His own timetable. Notice the sequence of the action verbs in the above verse: stand, look, ask - all components of waiting. The walking comes last, and the soul finds rest because we meet God on His terms and, not our own.
There has been some action on my part, but not the usual stuff. In September I was in Switzerland providing life coaching for men working internationally. During that time, I began to compile and publish my writings on the theme of transition.
The result is a short read titled Transition Companion, now available on Amazon in both kindle and print formats.
Check out Transition Companion here.
For two days this week - Wednesday and Thursday - I'm offering it at a promotional price of 99 cents.
What's next for Encompass Life Coaching?
• In the near future Encompass will switch over from a sole proprietorship to an LLC. Among other advantages, this step will add credibility with potential clients and partners.
• We are excited to begin partnering with churches of Northern California and Nevada by providing one-on-one and group coaching to their leadership and teams, particularly in the area of transitions.
• We have started offering discounted coaching packages for ministers and missionaries. These rates are not currently published on the web site, so help us spread the word to your pastor and missionary friends. Potential clients will need to contact us directly to see if they qualify.
Provide the gift of a personal life coach with a Christ-centered approach!
Help them get unstuck and move forward in the New Year. Why not gift a coaching package to a friend or loved one this Christmas? Just send us an email and we can give you all the details to make it happen.
Lastly, I would love to hear from some of you concerning felt needs related to this blog and other coaching resources we could potentially offer in the future. Thanks for standing by us through our own transition and the beginnings of Encompass Life Coaching.
Remembering the Why: Memory and Motivation
Faith is rooted in memory, and we are stewards of them both. When we take the time to remember well, we lay the groundwork for increased motivation and giving back to our neighbors and communities. Read more about how to pay it forward!
“When you beat the olives from your trees, do not go over the branches a second time. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow. When you harvest the grapes in your vineyard, do not go over the vines again. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow. Remember that you were slaves in Egypt. That is why I command you to do this.”
When I was a teenager, my hunting buddy and I would always return to our favorite place, a creek bed surrounded on either side by overgrown brush and orange orchards. When the hunting got slow or we grew tired, we'd crawl up under an orange tree and gorge ourselves, thankful that the harvesters had left a few ripe ones on the trees for us. If I were a farmer now, I would like to leave some fruit on my trees for a couple of tired boys. I'd like to pay it forward.
One of the greatest assets to increased motivation is remembering. The practice of paying it forward is grounded in memory.
The simplest way to define "pay it forward" is that when someone does something for you, instead of paying that person back directly, you pass it on to another person instead. In the Israelite's case, God had given them a harvest and they were to pass the blessing on to the foreigners in their midst. This concept is rooted in the scriptural command to love our neighbor.
God was encouraging His people to remember His kindnesses to them and to pass that kindness along to others. Why? Because they had been captives themselves, foreigners in a strange land. In this context the why was extremely important. Their motivation for paying it forward was rooted in memory. The same principle applies to us today.
There are two ways our memories can serve us, and both of them create opportunity to give back to others:
- I was helped in some way by this person or cause, and I choose to pay it forward.
- I was NOT shown kindness or helped in that situation, therefore I will be the first one to show kindness to someone else.
In the first case, we continue the cycle of paying it forward; in the second, which is always harder to do, we create potential for the cycle to start and gain momentum.
Gratitude comes into play here. Through grateful people much good can be done in our world.
Grateful people give because they know what it's like to be in need.
Grateful people give because they want to say “thank you” in some tangible way.
Grateful people give because they know what it feels like to receive the timely help of another.
“Loss of attentiveness plays into loss of memory. They are blood brothers, we simply don’t remember what we never stopped to notice.”
Faith is rooted in memory, and we are stewards of them both. When we take the time to remember well, we lay the groundwork for increased motivation and giving back to our neighbors and communities. Harvest your grapes, and leave some for others. Why? Because you were_____________(You fill in the blank).
On a different note, a quick update on our transition as a family from Turkey back to the good ol’ USA. We were celebrating my youngest daughter's birthday following one month of living stateside. As we were sitting around the table her mom and I asked her what she hoped for in her 14th year. “I want to thrive as a family and to be a light at school”, she said. Needless to say, she has two proud parents.
Thriving and shining. Transitions, long and difficult ones, tend to wreak havoc with both of these godly desires. How can we measure progress when chaos seems to rule? How can we feel purposeful when the rug is getting pulled out from underneath our feet, either slowly or all at once? Can we really thrive and shine on the other side of transition?
I agree completely with my daughter’s wise wishes. The dust of transition will settle. And when it's all said and done I want to to thrive and shine in this new season.
Transition and the ability to thrive….sounds like a good topic for my next post.
Meanwhile, on the heels of transition I’ll join my daughter in her pursuit. Here's to thriving and shining, whatever season you're in!
Tim, Encompass Life Coaching
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