What's Important Now?

As I share the gift of coaching with the world, rarely does a conversation end without some action toward an established goal. I will have that conversation with my spouse. I will journal at least 3 times this week. I will go to the market twice this week for language learning, even if I don’t need to buy anything. In the world of coaching, meaningful goals and action steps are the product of clarity, of deciding what’s most important -- and why.

When coaching is grounded in faith, the process goes to a whole new level. More than simply establishing goals and checking off to-do lists, it becomes about stewardship -- leading our personal and professional lives well. We do this by deciding what’s most important. We answer the question of Why.  Getting to the why and committing to a subsequent course of action is often a process of discernment and a series of deep conversations, especially during pivotal transition seasons.

As I age and mature, I’m learning that the small, seemingly insignificant choices made on a regular basis hold great impact over time. Those kinds of choices, more than anything, determine where I will end up. They are important! For example, I’m convinced it takes courage to live in obscurity, consistently doing the right thing when no one seems to notice. This is definitely part of answering the call to serve others. To avoid burnout and not lose heart, we need to decide what’s most important and have a strategy to achieve our short and long-term goals…all the while trying to remain flexible.

W.I.N. is a simple but powerful acronym that comes from the famous Notre Dame football coach Lou Holtz. It stands for "What’s Important Now?" Holtz instructed his players to ask themselves this question 35 times a day. He wanted them to think about it when they woke up, while they were in class, study hall, the weight room, the practice field, standing on the sidelines during a game and while on the playing field. Holtz wanted his players to be able to learn to focus on what mattered most at any given time.

Reflect for a moment. What do you want to accomplish and by when? How can you reach a desired outcome through consistent and intentional choices? What kind of support do you need along the way? These are all questions that fall under the bigger question of What’s Important Now?  Hidden in these questions lies a treasure trove of answers based on your core values just waiting to be uncovered. But here’s the thing: These are not the type of questions answered by focusing on productivity alone.

My friend and colleague, Teresa McCoy, has a saying, “Forget productivity. Do what matters.” This season of COVID-19 has left many of us struggling to regain some sense of efficiency and productivity. What could it look like to put productivity on pause and prioritize what matters? Could this give you the W.I.N. that you need?  I leave you with this question: What’s Important Now?

I’d love to hear from you. What are you focusing on during this challenging season? What really matters? And why?

One way to focus on the W.I.N. is by working with an experienced coach. Book a discovery call HERE to learn more about life purpose coaching.

Creative Conversations

The creative middle…that’s what I call the place between endings and new beginnings.

It’s that often overlooked space in transition seasons which holds some of the biggest potential for discovery and growth. If we leverage the creative middle wisely and engage it fully, we’re most likely to meet with success on the other side. If not, we miss out on some wonderful opportunities to co-create an ideal future in partnership with the Alpha and Omega…God Himself.

Transition triggers the creative process like nothing else can.

Just as the warmth of Spring triggers the onset of new growth, internal and external change can be the impetus for creative seasons in our lives. How we leverage these seasons of change can make all the difference. Creative conversations play a big part in the process.

Creative conversations…

What are they? What do they look like? Are you having them?

Creative conversations are ones that challenge us to think outside of perceived limitations and boundaries. They inspire us to experiment with new ways of believing, being, and doing. They cause us to see some situation -a crisis or conflict for example- from a new angle. They open our eyes to what could be. When we’re fortunate enough to have them, creative conversations can be the impetus for renewed hope and resolve.

Reflect on a time when you had a creative conversation with someone at a critical moment or crossroads in your life. What was the impact?

As I work with fellow transitioners, I’ve become convinced that some kind of consistent processing over a season is the key to successful transitions. I’m not simply talking about one-off conversations. These conversations can be inspirational and challenging, but with no follow-up or follow-through, we can stay stuck.

While navigating some personal life and ministry transitions, I’ve learned the value of consistent coaching sessions to keep me fully engaged in the creative process. If you’re not benefiting from consistent, creative conversations in your season of change you could be feeling alone, isolated, discouraged or confused. You could be stuck!

Coaching and Creative Conversations

Hiring a coach, particularly one in touch with your unique needs, can be a great way to break out of the isolation and start some creative conversations. A good coach is trained in the art of asking great questions and facilitating a structure around those questions to help you consider all the components of a healthy transition.

There are multitudes of titles connected to coaches these days: life coach, executive coach, health and wellness coach, transformational coach…and the list goes on. I often refer to what I do as transitions coaching, but in reality I’m a life coach who happens to be passionate about coaching around life purpose and transitions. Get the idea? We could spend a lot of time discussing what a life coach does and doesn’t do, but I often say the best way to learn is by experiencing coaching first-hand!

When transition first triggers a creative process, it can feel more like confusion than opportunity. Something is upsetting the norm, and we’re not sure what to think about it and how to respond to it.

I recently coached a missionary whose overseas assignment was coming to a close. He wanted to engage the creative opportunity as part of the shift, particularly in the area of pursuing a writing career. Our series of coaching sessions lasted several months. As one creative conversation built upon another, confusion ultimately gave way to confidence as he began to see the creative writing process as an extension of his calling.

When someone dedicated to your personal growth and professional success expresses belief in you as a person with God-given creative potential, the borders begin to expand. We begin discovering creative opportunities to live out our life callings. This is the role of a great coach.

Interested in getting coached? Here’s some tips to get you started…

Find the Right Coach for You

Whether you’re part of a business or ministry, inquire about the possibility of in-house coaching. If available, is it right for you? Or would you benefit from working with a coach somewhat more removed from your organizational and/or ministry context? You may also want to ask around for recommendations. It’s very likely that someone in your circle has benefited from working with a coach and would love to give you a referral.

Take your time and talk to a few potential coaches personally if you can. Get a feel for what they offer and what they’re passionate about when it comes to coaching. Some coaches offer complementary discovery calls, which serve to give both client and coach an opportunity to determine if the coaching relationship will be a good fit.

What will it Cost?

Funding personal coaching may be a concern when money is tight. Here’s some thoughts and suggestions…

Inquire with your HR department about helping to fund a season of personal coaching. Convinced that hiring a coach can be a great step toward personal and professional development, some businesses and non-profits are ready to invest in this way. At the very least, your inquiry could raise awareness of the need and spark a dialogue.

Always keep in mind that working with a great coach will be well worth the time, effort and any out-of- pocket expenses you may incur. Therefore coaching should be viewed as an investment, a means of stewarding our life callings well.

In summary, a great coaching relationship will challenge you to be your best and to live up to your God-given potential. It will require courage and intentionality on your part. What impact could a season of creative conversations with a coach have in your life right now? Are you ready to find out? Schedule a call HERE.

Source Image: https://www.newhope.com/business-resources/authenticity-workplace-starts-conscious-conversations

Why Millennials and Gen Z's are Hiring Life Coaches

I recently came across an article in The Guardian about why more and more teenagers and young adults are relying on life coaches.

Why the reason for this shift? the writer asks. Are more and more young people hiring coaches for career advice, or to fend off loneliness? Or something else?

A 2017 ICF Survey reveals that 35% of Generation Z respondents (those born after 1995) already had a coach. While coaching services are often associated with professionals looking to advance their careers, it seems as if this landscape of perception seems to be shifting.

But the big question remains – Why? Why is life coaching becoming more and more appealing to young people?

Here’s my take as I reflect on the article, especially as it relates to what a Christian coach can offer to a generation of young coaching clients…

• Purpose. A sense of purpose is tied to a long-term perspective, something many young adults have not yet acquired. That’s not a negative thing; it’s simply the reality they live in. That’s until they are exposed to long-term strategic thinking processes.

  I count it a privilege when I get to coach someone with a short-term mindset. When that person comes with a willingness to learn, there is potential for a huge paradigm shift. They begin to see themselves as potential creators and contributors to society and the Kingdom of God rather than mere takers. They just might take hold of a long-term vision which requires hard work yet promises great reward. One insightful 26-year-old life coach is quoted in the article, “Your life purpose is meant to evolve over time and that question should be asked more than once. Lots of young people feel that, if they don’t get what they want right now, they’ll never get it. They forget they’re playing a long game.”

  A long game, indeed! And long-term strategic thinking combined with a sense of purpose can change the world.

• Pause and Consider. When my wife and I were in our 20’s and preparing to move to Central Asia as missionaries, we couldn’t get there soon enough. That sense of urgency compelled us to board a plane the day before Thanksgiving rather than delay departure and spend the holiday with our parents and other extended family. Not to mention we were taking our 1-year-old daughter away from her grandparents for 4 years! Even now, 23 years later, there’s some regret around that decision.

  A sense of urgency, even for a good cause, is no guarantee for good choices. That reality hit home when we found ourselves on the other side of the world in a lonely, drab Central Asian apartment on Thanksgiving Day, crying into our bowl of ramen noodles.

  If I don’t get it now, I might miss out. That’s what the urgency of youth says. But urgency without purpose is unstable in all its ways. Even good pursuits can be overshadowed by poor choices motivated by a sense of urgency. A great coach can help a young client slow down and think strategically and with more consideration of how their choices might impact those around them.

  One young person quoted in the above-mentioned article states, “Young people just need to slow down; once we do, we finally have the space to figure out what we’re good at. From there, we can build much better, more considered lives.”

• Potential. Coaching is not about fixing people; it’s about recognizing and affirming the client as resourceful, creative and capable. When the coaching is grounded in the biblical worldview that we are image-bearers of the Triune God, watch out! There’s no limit to what God, by His Spirit, can accomplish through the coaching relationship. When that message is communicated by the coach, in spoken and unspoken ways, the young client experiences an awakened sense of worth and potential.

“When I started (as a life coach), people would get a coach because they were a bit messed up or were struggling,” he says. “But now coaching is seen as a helpful space to figure stuff out – it’s almost a badge of honor to show people you’re committed to getting the best out of your life.”

— Michael Bungay Stanier, Life Coach

• Personal Desire. What do I want? This is the question young people are asking universally in one form or another. The implications of where this question leads are enormous. Christ-centered coaching offers inquiring teens and young adults different perspectives and new ways to explore personal desire. Why not leverage this felt need during this pivotal season of life as a springboard for some powerful questioning such as, what does God want? What are my expectations of God? What are His expectations of me? Why do I want this? What difference does it make? What’s the long-term impact of this choice?

• Professional Skills Development. Newly acquired life skills are often a solid by-product when it comes to coaching young people. One 19-year-old who hired a life coach puts it this way: “Coaching teaches you how to communicate properly and how to prioritize different aspects of your life, which is something that we Gen Z’s have struggled with. We’ve grown up with technology and distractions – we almost have to learn how to look someone in the eye.” This highlights the modeling and mentoring component to the coaching relationship, which definitely has its place in professional coaching.

A Final Thought

Coaching young adults may not be something all coaches aspire to. However, as Christian coaches it’s important that we understand the current trends and shifts within the broader coaching movement. We should all agree that the reality of a new generation discovering the value of coaching is a good thing. And, if you’re reading this as a coach, you just might want to ask yourself, How could I carve out space in my coaching practice for one or two young clients?

Do you know a young person who’s struggling to discover their path to purpose? Book them a discovery call with me HERE.

Inspiration for this blog post comes from: Kalia, Ammar. “It’s a safety blanket: why more and more teenagers are relying on life coaches.“, The Guardian, July 31, 2019, https://bit.ly/2LSjsiH