What is Your Go-To Theme?
Whether I'm in transition or not, my perspective has a direct influence on my approach to life, and my perspective is too often scarcity. Let me explain...
First things first. I'm making my book, Transition Companion, completely free on Amazon for three days only starting this Saturday! Snatch it up HERE
“Some of my biggest regrets during transition have revolved around missed opportunities with God, family, and friends. The problem was with my perspective. I was seeing transition as an obstacle to pass through as quickly as possible rather than an opportunity to experience God more deeply and make some memories with the ones I love.”
“My daddy said it best in his new book Transition Companion. It’s become my favorite morning read.”
The above quote from my book and comment from my daughter is taken from one of her recent Facebook posts. I was reminded of why I penned those words. It's because I so often find myself in a rush to get to the next thing, missing out on joy and peace in the moment. Whether I'm in transition or not, my perspective has a direct influence on my approach to life, and my perspective is too often scarcity. Let me explain.
I recently attended a webinar taught by Jerome Daley for life coaches who want to grow personally and professionally. The topic revolved around three big story themes by which we tend to measure our degree of satisfaction. These themes mirror our emotional programming for personal fulfillment. Where we land determines how "happy" we feel. The themes are:
Performance to Belonging
Scarcity to Abundance
Fear to Trust
The attendees were challenged to consider their personal go-to theme(s). The middle one was highlighted for me. So often I consider time as something scarce. There is never enough time, or so I've been programmed to think. But what if God, who operates out of a place of abundance, gives me more than enough time? What if He desires to give me this perspective, from His eternal timeline?
How might I structure my moments, my days, my week differently by going from a place of scarcity to abundance, as it relates to time?
I'm determined in 2017 to seek a perspective shift from scarcity to abundance. How about you? What is your go-to theme? And how might you move from one end of the spectrum to the other in the new year?
With gratitude,
P.S. A reminder to grab a free copy of my book Transition Companion, this Saturday thru Monday only! I simply ask that you share this blog or my book with somebody who could use some encouragement.
Life After Transition
God has his own way of getting us ready for change. Transition is a process of letting go, grieving the losses, celebrating the past, and moving forward by faith into a new season of life and ministry.
I’ve experienced more than my share of transition over the past 6 months. I said farewell to life and ministry in the land of Turkey. My oldest daughter was married (I gained a super son-in-law by the way.) Our son recently moved away to college. Our youngest daughter started her high school career in a new town. A new home, church, and community. While many of these life events give good reason to celebrate, they are nonetheless big changes to navigate, and especially all at once!
One proud father walking his lovely daughter down nature's aisle. I even got to officiate the ceremony and, believe it or not, mostly held myself together!
It wasn’t easy saying goodbye to full time cross-cultural ministry. After all, it was some of the most rewarding and fulfilling 20 years of my life. Someone recently asked me what it was that triggered such a big transition. I couldn’t point to just one thing. Transitions are strange in that way. Feeling under-utilized, not challenged, restless – there were a number of indicators over a long season before the actual transition took place. God has his own way of getting us ready for change.
Transition is a process of letting go, grieving the losses, celebrating the past, and moving forward by faith into a new season of life and ministry.
God has used transition, in its many forms, to shape my character, re-align me with His purposes, and get me ready for the next assignment. And he’s not finished with me yet.
I recently came across a devotional about the life of Joseph. You may have heard about the multi-colored coat he proudly wore in his youth, the “coat of many colors” which his doting father gave to him. But there is something much more enduring than a coat: his character.
“It was Joseph’s character, not his coat, that sustained him through years of betrayal, temptation, accusation and imprisonment.”
In other words, no amount of difficult transition could get the best of Joseph because he gave attention to personal character formation. Prolonged and difficult transitions can be fertile ground for character transformation, thus a great time to work with a life coach, mentor or counselor.
As a family, we’re starting to recover and regroup from all the transition. We’ve settled into our new abode (new for us), a 1960’s era home in the Sierra Nevada Mountains of Northern California. I’m back to building fires in the woodstove, raking up loads of pine needles, and a bit of hiking and hunting – all activities that were not part of life in the big city of Istanbul. These are things that renew and energize me. Well, maybe I could do without all the yard work!
Transition has taken its toll on me emotionally and spiritually. Thankfully, God has given me the gift of time and space to breathe. I’ve been reminded of who I really am in relationship to God. I’m kept in the love of God and sustained by Him through intimacy with Him, not merely by what I do for Him. I’m passionate about coaching, but I want to be more passionate about God. I need this reminder from time to time. I always will.
From a coach's perspective, I’ve learned two valuable lessons through this season of change:
- Working with a life coach is a vital part of processing and planning through a transition. For me, it’s practicing what I preach.
- For you coaches out there, you don’t need to have your own transition all figured out to effectively coach others. God can and will use us to serve our clients well even when, or maybe especially when, we are navigating our own transitions.
Finally, I’m thinking of the global scope of this blog readership. I consider God’s promise to Abraham, that through him and his seed (that’s us) all nations will be blessed (Genesis 22:18). May prayer for each one of us is to be shaken like salt and dispersed like light among the nations, in order that God’s promise to Abraham might be fulfilled, to the ends of the earth.
Peace on Earth,
Tim
P.S. If you haven't checked out the Encompass Facebook Page, head over there and give us a like!
Transition's Final Word
Life is not all about transition, but it can seem so at times. Some transition seasons feel all-consuming. Here's a few raw and random thoughts and tips as I summarize the final chapter of my transition journey...
“Usually I am so immersed in what I do that I know myself only in relation to it.”
Life is not all about transition. Really? Most of us who are going through the turbulent waters of change may not agree with that statement. Transition does seem all-consuming at times. Here's a few raw and random thoughts and tips as I seek to summarize my transition journey...
Laugh it off.
My wife and I recently had a good laugh together as we took stock of our physical conditions following our most recent international move. Sore feet, aching backs, and overall physical and emotional exhaustion ironically had us laughing as we compared notes. We've also shared lots of silliness and laughter at the dinner table with our kids. A sense of humor is an invaluable asset when everything in life that can shake and shift does so, sometimes all at once.
Normalize it.
Emotional and physical stress are two sides of the transition coin. The combination of the two can result in unusual manifestations. Personally, I've been known to say incoherent things and act rather strangely. While in transition's tight grip, I've had friends, colleagues and family confused and bewildered. Admit it. You can relate to my confession. It helps just to be aware, to normalize the fact that transition pushes our buttons in strange and mysterious ways.
Be Done with it.
As I sit here writing somewhere over the Atlantic I can't tell you how relieved I’m feeling. Partly because I'm prone to bouts of worry through long transitions. It feels good to be moving on to a new set of concerns. Also partly because I'm an internal processor and I'm feeling like this piece of who I am has been taxed to the limit. I've done all the processing I can handle...for now. It's time to watch some movies on the screen built into the seat in front of me and let all the processing fall by the wayside. Is that even possible? I think not.
Recover and Regroup.
I guess what I'm saying is this: After all the change and uncertainty, I'm looking forward to a little less internal work and more outward expression of what the change has wrought in me. I want to be done with transition for a while. I want to recover and regroup, partly because I know change is inevitable and it won't be long before a new kind of transition comes my way. One that is uniquely designed by God for my growth and will somehow contribute to the bigger picture that only He understands.
Maintain in the Middle.
Maintaining some semblance of routine serves as a counterweight when big changes come our way. There is no better way to maintain some degree of stability and balance than by holding on to as much normalcy as possible. It's not only about dealing with and preparing for change; it's about continuing to live life well right in the middle of it. Here's a few healthy habits which have served to keep me grounded while juggling the many balls of transition:
- Family dinners together as much as possible, sprinkled with a good dose of laughter.
- Friday dinner and movie dates as a couple.
- Predictable morning routine, which for me means scripture reading, writing, walking the dog, and coffee!
- Family game or movie night once per week.
What routines have you been able to maintain while simultaneously working through change?
By the way, thanks to my wife, children, friends, mentors and coaches who have walked this inward journey with me. God has used you to shape my character and refine my calling. It's when I'm with you, in the moment, that I feel grounded and less prone to worry about all the unknowns.
“The span between life as we intend it and life as we receive it is vast. Our true purpose is worked out in that gap. It is fashioned in the crucible of interruptions.”
This transition season has been one of the longest and difficult, yet most rewarding holy interruptions of my life. A purposeful gap in between life's more predictable seasons.
Cheering you on in your transition,