What's Important Now?

As I share the gift of coaching with the world, rarely does a conversation end without some action toward an established goal. I will have that conversation with my spouse. I will journal at least 3 times this week. I will go to the market twice this week for language learning, even if I don’t need to buy anything. In the world of coaching, meaningful goals and action steps are the product of clarity, of deciding what’s most important -- and why.

When coaching is grounded in faith, the process goes to a whole new level. More than simply establishing goals and checking off to-do lists, it becomes about stewardship -- leading our personal and professional lives well. We do this by deciding what’s most important. We answer the question of Why.  Getting to the why and committing to a subsequent course of action is often a process of discernment and a series of deep conversations, especially during pivotal transition seasons.

As I age and mature, I’m learning that the small, seemingly insignificant choices made on a regular basis hold great impact over time. Those kinds of choices, more than anything, determine where I will end up. They are important! For example, I’m convinced it takes courage to live in obscurity, consistently doing the right thing when no one seems to notice. This is definitely part of answering the call to serve others. To avoid burnout and not lose heart, we need to decide what’s most important and have a strategy to achieve our short and long-term goals…all the while trying to remain flexible.

W.I.N. is a simple but powerful acronym that comes from the famous Notre Dame football coach Lou Holtz. It stands for "What’s Important Now?" Holtz instructed his players to ask themselves this question 35 times a day. He wanted them to think about it when they woke up, while they were in class, study hall, the weight room, the practice field, standing on the sidelines during a game and while on the playing field. Holtz wanted his players to be able to learn to focus on what mattered most at any given time.

Reflect for a moment. What do you want to accomplish and by when? How can you reach a desired outcome through consistent and intentional choices? What kind of support do you need along the way? These are all questions that fall under the bigger question of What’s Important Now?  Hidden in these questions lies a treasure trove of answers based on your core values just waiting to be uncovered. But here’s the thing: These are not the type of questions answered by focusing on productivity alone.

My friend and colleague, Teresa McCoy, has a saying, “Forget productivity. Do what matters.” This season of COVID-19 has left many of us struggling to regain some sense of efficiency and productivity. What could it look like to put productivity on pause and prioritize what matters? Could this give you the W.I.N. that you need?  I leave you with this question: What’s Important Now?

I’d love to hear from you. What are you focusing on during this challenging season? What really matters? And why?

One way to focus on the W.I.N. is by working with an experienced coach. Book a discovery call HERE to learn more about life purpose coaching.

Why Coaching Works: Three Real-Life Situations

Coaching is flexible.

As seasons change and situations shift, great life coaching can remain a relevant piece of your support structure. This is especially true in this journey called life, where adapting to change is a key component of our ability to thrive. Here’s an example which highlights the beauty of coaching - being both intentional and flexible at the same time…

Randy and his family live in Eastern Europe. He came to me for coaching around some disillusionment and discouragement he was experiencing. He had been questioning his personal calling and purpose as an expat working overseas. We were just getting started with a series of coaching sessions, focused on life purpose discovery, when COVID-19 hit. The result was a rug-pulled-out transition rather than a planned one. We quickly shifted our coaching sessions to focus on processing, debriefing and planning for the immediate future. We will eventually return to our original agenda together, but for now this is how our coaching relationship can remain most relevant.

The beauty of a good coaching relationship is that it can creatively adapt. Coaching can and should be flexible!

Coaching helps redefine productivity.

Productivity which lacks purpose is not sustainable to emotional and spiritual vitality.

At some point productivity and purpose must intersect. This may come as a surprise , but great life coaching is not only about getting more done. I think in some circles there’s this false perception of coaching, that it merely focuses on areas of efficiency and productivity. The coach, in other words, is here to help you “win big.” What does that even mean?

More often than not, coach and client are addressing heart issues, underlying motivations, and core values, all of which help us make better decisions and win at life in the right way.

That’s not to say being productive isn’t important; it’s about defining what that looks like…

Sally, another client I work with, has set some very admirable goals related to writing and publishing her next book. While our coaching clearly needs to address measurable output and deadlines, Sally is just as concerned with what flows from her heart, not merely her hands. For example, she’s working on developing a rhythm of pauses throughout her day in order to ground herself and re-focus on God, the Source of her creativity. Since she struggles being consistent in this area, this has become part of our coaching agenda as we work together toward productivity and purpose.

Couples coaching is doable!

While couples coaching is not for the faint of heart, it can meet a real need.

Couples coaching can be effective in a number of contexts, but most of the couples I coach are going through some kind of big transition. Transitions, especially ones that impact the whole family (and most of them do), are fertile ground for spouses to team up with a coach together.

Tom and Emily are making a big move from a large city to a rural village in their host country in South America. Everything is changing for them and their two children. They are leaving a supportive community, established ministry roles, and trading private Christian school for homeschooling. While excited about the new in the transition, they want to make sure they aren’t leaving any unfinished business behind as they make plans for the future.

Emily is the list person in their marriage. Oh yes, those never-ending transition lists! She loves the fact that she can run through her list in our coaching sessions, while getting input from Tom and a clarifying question or two from me. Tom wants to lead his family well through these changes. He’s aware of his blind spots and uses our coaching time to establish boundaries and get honest feedback from Emily and myself. Together, they are realizing and honoring each other’s contributions and strengths they bring to this transition season.

These are just a few examples of how coaching addresses the needs of people in real-life situations, possibly in ways you weren’t aware of. What else would you like to know about coaching and how it may be a good fit for the season you’re in?  Help me write my next post with your comments!

Interested in being coached? Book a discovery call with me HERE.

Author’s Note: Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Creative Conversations

The creative middle…that’s what I call the place between endings and new beginnings.

It’s that often overlooked space in transition seasons which holds some of the biggest potential for discovery and growth. If we leverage the creative middle wisely and engage it fully, we’re most likely to meet with success on the other side. If not, we miss out on some wonderful opportunities to co-create an ideal future in partnership with the Alpha and Omega…God Himself.

Transition triggers the creative process like nothing else can.

Just as the warmth of Spring triggers the onset of new growth, internal and external change can be the impetus for creative seasons in our lives. How we leverage these seasons of change can make all the difference. Creative conversations play a big part in the process.

Creative conversations…

What are they? What do they look like? Are you having them?

Creative conversations are ones that challenge us to think outside of perceived limitations and boundaries. They inspire us to experiment with new ways of believing, being, and doing. They cause us to see some situation -a crisis or conflict for example- from a new angle. They open our eyes to what could be. When we’re fortunate enough to have them, creative conversations can be the impetus for renewed hope and resolve.

Reflect on a time when you had a creative conversation with someone at a critical moment or crossroads in your life. What was the impact?

As I work with fellow transitioners, I’ve become convinced that some kind of consistent processing over a season is the key to successful transitions. I’m not simply talking about one-off conversations. These conversations can be inspirational and challenging, but with no follow-up or follow-through, we can stay stuck.

While navigating some personal life and ministry transitions, I’ve learned the value of consistent coaching sessions to keep me fully engaged in the creative process. If you’re not benefiting from consistent, creative conversations in your season of change you could be feeling alone, isolated, discouraged or confused. You could be stuck!

Coaching and Creative Conversations

Hiring a coach, particularly one in touch with your unique needs, can be a great way to break out of the isolation and start some creative conversations. A good coach is trained in the art of asking great questions and facilitating a structure around those questions to help you consider all the components of a healthy transition.

There are multitudes of titles connected to coaches these days: life coach, executive coach, health and wellness coach, transformational coach…and the list goes on. I often refer to what I do as transitions coaching, but in reality I’m a life coach who happens to be passionate about coaching around life purpose and transitions. Get the idea? We could spend a lot of time discussing what a life coach does and doesn’t do, but I often say the best way to learn is by experiencing coaching first-hand!

When transition first triggers a creative process, it can feel more like confusion than opportunity. Something is upsetting the norm, and we’re not sure what to think about it and how to respond to it.

I recently coached a missionary whose overseas assignment was coming to a close. He wanted to engage the creative opportunity as part of the shift, particularly in the area of pursuing a writing career. Our series of coaching sessions lasted several months. As one creative conversation built upon another, confusion ultimately gave way to confidence as he began to see the creative writing process as an extension of his calling.

When someone dedicated to your personal growth and professional success expresses belief in you as a person with God-given creative potential, the borders begin to expand. We begin discovering creative opportunities to live out our life callings. This is the role of a great coach.

Interested in getting coached? Here’s some tips to get you started…

Find the Right Coach for You

Whether you’re part of a business or ministry, inquire about the possibility of in-house coaching. If available, is it right for you? Or would you benefit from working with a coach somewhat more removed from your organizational and/or ministry context? You may also want to ask around for recommendations. It’s very likely that someone in your circle has benefited from working with a coach and would love to give you a referral.

Take your time and talk to a few potential coaches personally if you can. Get a feel for what they offer and what they’re passionate about when it comes to coaching. Some coaches offer complementary discovery calls, which serve to give both client and coach an opportunity to determine if the coaching relationship will be a good fit.

What will it Cost?

Funding personal coaching may be a concern when money is tight. Here’s some thoughts and suggestions…

Inquire with your HR department about helping to fund a season of personal coaching. Convinced that hiring a coach can be a great step toward personal and professional development, some businesses and non-profits are ready to invest in this way. At the very least, your inquiry could raise awareness of the need and spark a dialogue.

Always keep in mind that working with a great coach will be well worth the time, effort and any out-of- pocket expenses you may incur. Therefore coaching should be viewed as an investment, a means of stewarding our life callings well.

In summary, a great coaching relationship will challenge you to be your best and to live up to your God-given potential. It will require courage and intentionality on your part. What impact could a season of creative conversations with a coach have in your life right now? Are you ready to find out? Schedule a call HERE.

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