The Two Sides of Transition

“Restore our fortunes, Lord, like streams in the Negev. Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.” -Psalm 126:4-6 NIV

This passage from the book of Psalms speaks about the reality of grieving loss while carrying something to invest into the future. Both are necessary components of successful transitions. One hand acknowledges and affirms the people, places and things we leave behind. The other hand symbolizes the hope we carry into the future -the hope to plant, cultivate and reap something new and beautiful. Acknowledging loss and cultivating hope: two sides of the transition coin.

Whether transition is forced upon us or comes about by personal choice, making it to the other side requires that we intentionally process the loss and plan for the next productive season. Is it possible to walk through a major life transition with both hands full, one doing the work of grieving losses, and the other gradually filling up with good seed to plant in rich soil? Yes! So, why not allow God to fill at least one of your hands with abundant seed to sow on the other side of the transition? He is able to do that - even while the loss still hurts.

Sometimes transitions can seem chaotic. Nothing feels right. Nothing looks right. Nothing works. Maybe it's time to re-define transition, to infuse our experience with a sense of purpose. What if transition = transformation? You can read more about this HERE in a great post by one of my mentor coaches. I'll end this post with some encouragement from Romans 5:3-5 MSG...

“There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!"

Working with a qualified life coach is a great way to process both sides of the transitions coin. Click Here to learn more about working with me as your transitions coach.

Seasonal Friendships

 I was mostly fine growing up with one or two good friends. I say mostly fine because no doubt I could have benefited from having more friends. When there was a friendship deficit in my life, I spent more time fishing and hunting, just me and my dog. That was before I grew up and moved off to college, leaving my dog, shotgun and fishing pole behind.

Fast forward a few decades later. I've been reminded of the value of friendship, particularly having a friend or two with whom I can have open, authentic conversations. Someone to whom I've given permission to speak into my life, even if what they say is hard to hear.

I currently have this level of friendship in my life, both with my wife and a couple of guys. I have to be intentional about opening up. It's not always easy, and sometimes I wait too long. I'm still learning. 

David and Jonathan were blessed with authentic friendship (1 Samuel 18:1-4). They embraced, shared their feelings for each other, and supported and defended one another. They opened up to each other. And they were real men. 

A good friend is both a gift and a tool for spiritual formation in our lives (Proverbs 27:6,17). But how do cross-cultural workers living with constant transition find and keep them? 

One way is to cultivate seasonal friendships. If you've lived in the transient expat community for any amount of time, you are well acquainted with goodbyes. You have them rehearsed. Then there's the new faces who move into the community. How do I find the capacity to reach out to one more person who might not even be interested in cultivating a friendship with me? Worse yet, what if we really hit it off? Yet another painful goodbye down the road.

For what it's worth, here's what I've learned after 20 years living overseas: seasonal friendships are God's provision. They keep us from the dangers of disengagement and isolation. They are a means to smart soul care which leads to emotional health and spiritual vitality.

Some of our friendships may be seasonal in terms of proximity, but they hold the potential to become enduring, lifelong relationships. In this sense, when we invest in a seasonal friendship we are investing for tomorrow. So go ahead and engage...again. If you're patient, the return on your investment may just surprise you! 

By the way, once in a while I go back to picking up my fishing pole or shotgun, with dog in tow. Maybe my next post will be about healthy ways to disengage!

Source Thumbnail Image: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-a-z/F/friendship/

When God Hides

 “Truly, you are a God who hides himself, O God of Israel, the Savior.” -‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭45:15‬ ‭ESV‬‬

My dog can become frantic when she loses the scent of a rabbit or some other creature trying to elude her. With her nose to the ground she zig-zags through through the overgrown brush and weeds seeking the scent which originally started her on her quest.

Does God ever intentionally seek to elude us by going down some rabbit trail, a path familiar to him, yet strange to us with its twists and turns? If so, how are we to handle these seasons of God "hiding"? And how can we coach others through these times, helping them to maintain perspective and hope?

Personally, I've come to seasons in life when God seems to be hiding, distant and beyond reach. I somehow lose the "scent" which attracted me to His call in the beginning. At one point I was hot on the trail, only to discover the place or situation I now find myself in is disturbingly void of His presence. Doubt invading my heart and mind, I wonder, Was I chasing the wrong thing altogether?

Much of the confusion we deal with when God seems to be hiding is connected to our perspective. The following tips can help us and our clients discover that God is not playing a cruel game of hide and seek, nor has He forgotten. Rather, God's hiding is:

1. Temporary- This is a simple yet powerful reminder when one is feeling ignored by God. Some good coaching questions may be, How have seasons similar to the one you're now experiencing turned out in the past? In what ways have you known God to be faithful? What hopeful outcome can you envision on the other side of this trial?

2. An Invitation- When God seems absent, I like to think that He is inviting us into His own version of "hide and seek." A disillusioned individual may need to be reminded of God's invitation with questions such as, In this challenging season, what new thing might God be inviting you into? What about His character is he waiting to show you?

3. Purposeful- Upon receiving word that Lazarus was sick and dying, Jesus stayed away two more days (John 11:6). From this and other examples in scripture we see that God, at times, denies our cries for immediate relief in order to accomplish His greater purposes. Our clients may be challenged by the question, How might God want to use His silence in your life now in order to fulfill His greater purposes later?

Let's Never Forget

Whether the trail has become cold due to some wrong turn of our own, or whether God is purposely staying out of sight for a time, one thing is sure: He is never far off. He may hide, but He has promised to never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5-6).

Photo Source: Bill Buckley, fieldandstream.com