Enlarge Your Capacity by Doing Less in Transitions
A common tension in transition revolves around the question of how to sustain a healthy balance between being and doing. While transition requires leaning into both, we often wrestle with finding a healthy cadence.
A common tension in transition revolves around the question of how to sustain a healthy balance between being and doing. While transition requires leaning into both, we often wrestle with finding a healthy cadence.
How does your style and temperament react to change? Do you tend to lean into your doing/task orientation side, while neglecting God's invitation to just be? Or, do you welcome and create space for rest and reflection, ending up with a long list of transition-to-do's, overwhelmed at the end of the day?
Navigating a transition back to the states following 20 years of life overseas, I vented to my counselor and rattled off all the reasons I was not getting a fair shake. He interjected something which stopped me in my tracks. He said, “Tim, have you taken time to breathe?”
It hit me: I needed to come up for air, but I was fighting it. I needed fresh perspective, and the only way for that to happen would be to enter into God's invitation to rest. At that juncture in transition, I needed to slow down and choose what I had been considering a luxury for later when the dust settled…reflection and rest. Yet, slowing down in transition was one of the best things I did for myself (and those around me).
Here I'm reminded of a quote by Charles Spurgeon:
Rest time is not waste time. It is economy to gather fresh strength…. It is wisdom to take leave. In the long run, we shall do more by sometimes doing less. (An All Around Ministry)
Indeed.
Difficult transitions are often complicated by decision fatigue, “the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual after a long session of decision making.” (Lark). If that's where you're at, why not linger a spell at the crossroads, allowing God's unhurried wisdom and counsel to take root in your heart, mind, and spirit?
Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, 'We will not walk in it.' — Jeremiah 6:16, NIV
Slowing down, noticing, and asking is God's prescription for the clarity and confidence we so desperately need in seasons of change. It's also the path to enlarged capacity.
When we pause long enough and observe closely, we just might find ourselves moving beyond merely looking at the fog and feeling the stress levels rise; we actually might see more options and opportunities as the fog lifts. At the very least, we will know more peace through the uncertainty. When we only define capacity as doing more, we miss when our capacity for being—in this case peace—grows.
The following exercises combine the doing and being components of transition. Done with intentionality, in community, and possibly with outside support such as coaching or spiritual direction, they will help you slow down and serve to inform your transition to-do list. Thus, your to-be and to-do list reflects what truly matters. Here are three exercises:
1. Values clarification helps us discover (or remember) our true north in transition seasons. Taking a deep dive into values clarity has a way of grounding us through the uncertainty of change. Knowing our needs and values serves to anchor us in what matters most and to prioritize those areas. From time to time at Global Trellis, we offer a full needs and values assessment and the opportunity to unpack your results within a group of like-minded individuals. For a start, you may want to try out this abbreviated needs and values worksheet and unpack your findings with a trusted friend or family member.
2. Discernment takes time and intentionality. Simply forming the questions we need to ask in transition is no easy task. Slowing down long enough to enter into conversations with God and His people helps solidify the important questions and top priorities. Here are some examples of great questions to ask in a season of discernment.
3. Rest, renew, and review on a regular basis. I've discovered it helps me to regularly sit with a set of reflection questions. Engaging with these questions weekly helps me celebrate wins, cultivate gratitude, re-align with my values, and decide my priorities. They aren't magical, but they are another way to cultivate a rhythm of purposeful reflection.
One final word of encouragement
Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. (Ephesians 6:13, The Message)
Transitions are opportunities to stand in the juncture of two or more paths and consider the options. When we take time to put on the brakes and stand in a crossroads, we are able to notice what lies in front of us with prayerful curiosity. We are more likely to end up in a good place when it's all said and done, with capacity for being able to handle all of the doing that transitions require.
A season of coaching can help you strike a healthy balance between being and doing in transition. Let’s have a conversation!
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*This article was originally published on Global Trellis
5 Reasons People Fail to Grow Through Transition
Whether we initiate a transition ourselves or it happens to us, why leave the process up to chance? How can we navigate the waters of transition more purposefully? As a fellow transitioner, I've struggled to find reasons why some of my own transitions haven't been as successful as they could have been. Here's 5 Reasons why people fail to grow through transition….
Recently, while introducing a workshop on the topic of transitions, I conducted an experiment. I asked the attendees to introduce themselves to someone new and to only talk about things in their lives which were NOT changing. The conversation dragged on for a few minutes. Energy and interest remained low. Next, I gave them permission to talk about anything and everything in their lives related to change. Life and energy returned to the room. It was hard to break up the conversations.
The Reminder? Transition is a universal part of all our lives. It’s where we all find common ground and interest. Transition trends among us.
Change is trending because it's always constant and arresting our attention. Just as all things trending rank high in number of online searches and views, transition trends among us, capturing our attention, occupying our thoughts and conversations.
How has transition impacted you? Do you feel victimized by it? Blessed because of it? Challenged through it?
Given its universality, we would do well to maximize the personal and professional benefits transition seasons offer. Whether we initiate a transition ourselves or it happens to us, why leave the process up to chance? How can we navigate the waters of transition more purposefully?
As a coach I help people get intentional with transition. As a fellow transitioner, I've struggled to find reasons why some of my own transitions haven't been as successful as they could have been.
Here's 5 Reasons why people fail to grow through transition….
Not establishing clear goals. I once thought goals were somewhat useless during seasons of change because transition messes with them too much. The opposite is true. The fact is setting goals, personal and professional, is the SMART way to navigate change. Having goals through a difficult transition can greatly increase the potential to stay the course when obstacles surprise us and expectations aren't met.
Not setting aside time and space for processing. Failure is linked to forging ahead during transition seasons without due diligence. That due diligence consists of finding ways to reflect and process. A good balance of personal reflection and processing with a coach you can trust is the path to success.
Falling back into old habits. Transition paths are often marked by signs along the way, ones which tell us to break away from the old patterns and habits which got us stuck in the first place. The perfect opportunity to dislodge old lifestyle and work habits that aren’t serving us well is when we're going through a season of change.
The fear of risk. This is a big one. We fear what we don’t know, and transition and the unknown are blood brothers. While risking it all to pursue our dreams sounds glamorous, and the potential to maximize growth opportunities in change is never higher, fear of failure might be something we need to confront. The bigger the transition, the more potential to be paralyzed by fear.
Taking an all or nothing approach. I used to think that everything needs to change when transition calls. No stone left unturned was my motto. Now I realize this isn’t necessarily true. In fact it’s rarely true. God has always been gracious to to leave me some “holds” during a transition climb to keep me hopeful on the journey upward. As William Bridges puts it,
“As rock climbers try to move only one hand (or foot) at a time, keeping the other three points of contact with the rock solid, so the person in transition will usually do well to use the rest of his or her life as a series of “holds” while making a transition elsewhere.”
One final thought...
What if we were to visualize transition as a coin, marked by resistance on one side and growth on the other? When we find ourselves resisting change, could we be sabotaging our own growth? What side of the coin are you on today?