Life After Transition
God has his own way of getting us ready for change. Transition is a process of letting go, grieving the losses, celebrating the past, and moving forward by faith into a new season of life and ministry.
I’ve experienced more than my share of transition over the past 6 months. I said farewell to life and ministry in the land of Turkey. My oldest daughter was married (I gained a super son-in-law by the way.) Our son recently moved away to college. Our youngest daughter started her high school career in a new town. A new home, church, and community. While many of these life events give good reason to celebrate, they are nonetheless big changes to navigate, and especially all at once!
One proud father walking his lovely daughter down nature's aisle. I even got to officiate the ceremony and, believe it or not, mostly held myself together!
It wasn’t easy saying goodbye to full time cross-cultural ministry. After all, it was some of the most rewarding and fulfilling 20 years of my life. Someone recently asked me what it was that triggered such a big transition. I couldn’t point to just one thing. Transitions are strange in that way. Feeling under-utilized, not challenged, restless – there were a number of indicators over a long season before the actual transition took place. God has his own way of getting us ready for change.
Transition is a process of letting go, grieving the losses, celebrating the past, and moving forward by faith into a new season of life and ministry.
God has used transition, in its many forms, to shape my character, re-align me with His purposes, and get me ready for the next assignment. And he’s not finished with me yet.
I recently came across a devotional about the life of Joseph. You may have heard about the multi-colored coat he proudly wore in his youth, the “coat of many colors” which his doting father gave to him. But there is something much more enduring than a coat: his character.
“It was Joseph’s character, not his coat, that sustained him through years of betrayal, temptation, accusation and imprisonment.”
In other words, no amount of difficult transition could get the best of Joseph because he gave attention to personal character formation. Prolonged and difficult transitions can be fertile ground for character transformation, thus a great time to work with a life coach, mentor or counselor.
As a family, we’re starting to recover and regroup from all the transition. We’ve settled into our new abode (new for us), a 1960’s era home in the Sierra Nevada Mountains of Northern California. I’m back to building fires in the woodstove, raking up loads of pine needles, and a bit of hiking and hunting – all activities that were not part of life in the big city of Istanbul. These are things that renew and energize me. Well, maybe I could do without all the yard work!
Transition has taken its toll on me emotionally and spiritually. Thankfully, God has given me the gift of time and space to breathe. I’ve been reminded of who I really am in relationship to God. I’m kept in the love of God and sustained by Him through intimacy with Him, not merely by what I do for Him. I’m passionate about coaching, but I want to be more passionate about God. I need this reminder from time to time. I always will.
From a coach's perspective, I’ve learned two valuable lessons through this season of change:
- Working with a life coach is a vital part of processing and planning through a transition. For me, it’s practicing what I preach.
- For you coaches out there, you don’t need to have your own transition all figured out to effectively coach others. God can and will use us to serve our clients well even when, or maybe especially when, we are navigating our own transitions.
Finally, I’m thinking of the global scope of this blog readership. I consider God’s promise to Abraham, that through him and his seed (that’s us) all nations will be blessed (Genesis 22:18). May prayer for each one of us is to be shaken like salt and dispersed like light among the nations, in order that God’s promise to Abraham might be fulfilled, to the ends of the earth.
Peace on Earth,
Tim
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Remembering the Why: Memory and Motivation
Faith is rooted in memory, and we are stewards of them both. When we take the time to remember well, we lay the groundwork for increased motivation and giving back to our neighbors and communities. Read more about how to pay it forward!
“When you beat the olives from your trees, do not go over the branches a second time. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow. When you harvest the grapes in your vineyard, do not go over the vines again. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow. Remember that you were slaves in Egypt. That is why I command you to do this.”
When I was a teenager, my hunting buddy and I would always return to our favorite place, a creek bed surrounded on either side by overgrown brush and orange orchards. When the hunting got slow or we grew tired, we'd crawl up under an orange tree and gorge ourselves, thankful that the harvesters had left a few ripe ones on the trees for us. If I were a farmer now, I would like to leave some fruit on my trees for a couple of tired boys. I'd like to pay it forward.
One of the greatest assets to increased motivation is remembering. The practice of paying it forward is grounded in memory.
The simplest way to define "pay it forward" is that when someone does something for you, instead of paying that person back directly, you pass it on to another person instead. In the Israelite's case, God had given them a harvest and they were to pass the blessing on to the foreigners in their midst. This concept is rooted in the scriptural command to love our neighbor.
God was encouraging His people to remember His kindnesses to them and to pass that kindness along to others. Why? Because they had been captives themselves, foreigners in a strange land. In this context the why was extremely important. Their motivation for paying it forward was rooted in memory. The same principle applies to us today.
There are two ways our memories can serve us, and both of them create opportunity to give back to others:
- I was helped in some way by this person or cause, and I choose to pay it forward.
- I was NOT shown kindness or helped in that situation, therefore I will be the first one to show kindness to someone else.
In the first case, we continue the cycle of paying it forward; in the second, which is always harder to do, we create potential for the cycle to start and gain momentum.
Gratitude comes into play here. Through grateful people much good can be done in our world.
Grateful people give because they know what it's like to be in need.
Grateful people give because they want to say “thank you” in some tangible way.
Grateful people give because they know what it feels like to receive the timely help of another.
“Loss of attentiveness plays into loss of memory. They are blood brothers, we simply don’t remember what we never stopped to notice.”
Faith is rooted in memory, and we are stewards of them both. When we take the time to remember well, we lay the groundwork for increased motivation and giving back to our neighbors and communities. Harvest your grapes, and leave some for others. Why? Because you were_____________(You fill in the blank).
On a different note, a quick update on our transition as a family from Turkey back to the good ol’ USA. We were celebrating my youngest daughter's birthday following one month of living stateside. As we were sitting around the table her mom and I asked her what she hoped for in her 14th year. “I want to thrive as a family and to be a light at school”, she said. Needless to say, she has two proud parents.
Thriving and shining. Transitions, long and difficult ones, tend to wreak havoc with both of these godly desires. How can we measure progress when chaos seems to rule? How can we feel purposeful when the rug is getting pulled out from underneath our feet, either slowly or all at once? Can we really thrive and shine on the other side of transition?
I agree completely with my daughter’s wise wishes. The dust of transition will settle. And when it's all said and done I want to to thrive and shine in this new season.
Transition and the ability to thrive….sounds like a good topic for my next post.
Meanwhile, on the heels of transition I’ll join my daughter in her pursuit. Here's to thriving and shining, whatever season you're in!
Tim, Encompass Life Coaching
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Turning Setbacks into Switchbacks
Why setbacks are important and how they can be leveraged as switchbacks to help us gain altitude during a transition climb.
“The path leading me to meaningful work and a way to make a living from it has been a long and twisting one. What looked at the time like setbacks or defeats look to me now more like switchbacks that enabled me to gain altitude.”
I can relate to the above quote. Central Asian mountain ranges are some of the most rugged and steep in the world. While traveling throughout that land I grew accustomed to hours of tedious climbing in order to cover the distance of just a few miles. From time to time a detour was necessary due to a recent landslide or avalanche. The setback could delay travel plans by hours, even days. One of my personal travel setbacks can be viewed HERE
The slow and tedious task of climbing upward is a good reminder that life is also full of steep, slow climbs, and a setback from time to time. From one traveler to another, I confess I haven't always seen the purpose in all the twists and turns. I've often complained, Why Lord? Where is this all going?
Here's some thoughts on why setbacks are important and how they can be leveraged as switchbacks to help us gain altitude during a transition climb:
- Setbacks reinforce our true identity. Feelings of failure and loss of identity are common among those of us who have wrestled with difficult transitions. Yet when we pause to reflect upon what is really important following a setback, we come to see the value God places on us as his kids, apart from achievement, reputation, title and position. Setbacks become switchbacks when we allow ourselves to be reminded of our true identity, and then take that awareness into the next challenge or opportunity before us.
- Setbacks are good for recalibrating. Transition seasons often present us with a myriad of options to choose from as we plan our next steps. A good portion of them are simply distractions disguised as opportunities. While some may be valid options for us to consider, others just keep popping up and getting in the way, causing loss of focus. In actuality, a closed door or rejected proposal may be just what we need to re-adjust and move forward in our transition with better clarity. Setbacks become switchbacks when we allow the natural process of God's choosing and leading to unfold in His perfect yet mysterious ways.
- Setbacks provide opportunity for inward, personal growth to catch up with outward, professional growth. Throughout certain stages of life, everything seems to coast along with little or no sign of personal or professional change. Then, sometimes gradually and sometimes all of a sudden, we find ourselves in the middle of a transition season. As we take advantage of opportunities to pray, reflect and process the change, God will use those times to deepen our spiritual roots and reinforce personal values which may have been neglected. We will begin to experience renewed vitality emotionally and spiritually, and it will feel good!
I'm curious, What setbacks of 2015 has God used to strengthen your resolve and keep you climbing in the year ahead? Has an unexpected twist or turn thrown you off balance and into a transition tailspin? What growth agenda might God have planned for you during your current transition?
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” -Genesis 50:20 NIV
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28 NIV
Climb your transition with a coach HERE