Resilience: Challenging the Status Quo

When talking about resilience, I’ll sometimes use the illustration of a rubber ball that bounces back, or a rubber band that gets stretched then quickly returns to its original shape. These comparisons can be helpful. Who doesn’t want to lessen recovery time following a traumatic event, for example? However, from a forward-looking, growth-minded perspective resilience is so much more.

From a biblical worldview, we are called to participate in trials and suffering. As a result we are changed. When we allow ourselves to be shaped and formed in life’s struggles, we grow in resilience. In this way resilience takes us beyond a return to some original state or the status quo. It’s surrendering to a growth process. And in so doing, resilience becomes a transformative, dynamic work.

“Being resilient does not restore the status quo in your life, springing back to the way it was but, rather, what you have learned from tackling the adversity changes you for the better and helps you become more keenly aware of what is important in your life.” —Neenan and Dryden, Developing Resilience

As you go through hardship and struggle, how are you being changed? Are you becoming more aware of your values and priorities? Are you leveraging the learning opportunities and becoming a better person?More present? More qualified to equip and encourage others?

Questions for Reflection:

• What circumstances might you be in right now that are touching on and quite possibly irritating you internally?

• In what ways might those circumstances actually be refining some aspect of who you are?

And as you take a moment to consider those questions, also remember…

“Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but you've actually been planted.” —Christine Caine, Undaunted

Challenge the status quo! Unpack your challenging season with one of my debriefing coaching packages. I provide personalized, 1:1 coaching sessions to give you the space you need to sort through a season of intensity, capture insights, and move forward with intentionality.

The Path to Resilience

In our current context there’s a growing need for resilient workers, leaders and organizations. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficulty. It requires openness to change. But here’s the issue: We don’t change well on our own.

We may even resist change, digging in our heels and grasping for old certainties that don’t exist any longer. The road of resistance keeps us stuck. But forging a path of resilience can set us free. What does this path look like?

DISRUPTION

In seasons of transition and uncertainty, we need voices on the outside to disrupt our thinking by reflecting our thoughts back to us, challenging us to consider why we think and perceive things the way we do. This is the path of resilience: disruption…reflection….learning….action. And that’s hard to do in isolation, as most of us can testify. Been there. Done that.

 My wife knows I’m pretty darn ticklish, and she’ll take advantage of that at times. It doesn’t take much effort on her part to make me squirm. But even as a ticklish individual, I can’t tickle myself. Leadership coach Marcia Reynolds states, “For the same reason we can’t tickle ourselves, our brains resist self- imposed testing of thoughts and reactions.” The catalyst for transformation requires engaging a process of disruption from the outside.

In this transition season, do you find yourself welcoming the disruption, or resisting it?

REFLECTION AND LEARNING

What could opening ourselves up to this process look like? As we allow more space and time to reflect and process the change, we do well to invite outside “disrupters” into our lives who bring the gift of presence, active listening and powerful questioning. When we have the courage to invite disruption, the stories we tell ourselves - our personal narratives – can change. In the process, we begin to learn and grow outside our perceived limits, moving all the while toward greater resilience.

What’s been your personal narrative through this transition season, the story you’ve been telling yourself? Has it been one of resistance or openness? Is it leading to resilience or feelings of stuckness?  These personal narratives impact our emotional and spiritual well-being, our relationships and organizational cultures. Engaging a process of disruption, reflection, learning and action lends itself to changing the narrative and creating a culture of personal and professional resilience.

ACTION

The path to resilience…disruption, reflection and learning…combine to create the clarity and momentum necessary for positive Spirit-led action to take place. But the process takes time. The temptation is to leap into action too soon, hoping to avoid the pain and uncertainty by making it to the other side of transition. As a result, the process of  learning and growth gets sabotaged. Here are some potential focus areas to consider as you slow down, invite disruption and move toward greater resilience:

• Revisiting personal and organizational core values.

• Soaking in God’s Word regularly…renewing our minds.

• Sorting and sifting ideas and options by engaging in a season of discernment.

• Confronting Identity issues and aligning what I do with who I am.

• Learning new strategies for consistently showing up and taking action.

• Recognizing and removing obstacles to growth and development.

• Focus and self-discipline….leading ourselves with greater intentionality.

• Prioritizing what matters most and creating strategies to achieve desired outcomes.

Some questions to consider…

Which of the above focus areas could take on a community or organizational approach? Which ones are more personal, individual, and reflective?

Who could you invite into your personal journey toward greater agility as you consider these focus areas? A coach, counselor, spiritual director, mentor, trusted friend?

What path are you on? The one of resilience or resistance?
If you’re finding yourself resisting rather than engaging the process of resilience, I’d love to explore some options with you. Let’s have a conversation. Schedule a discovery call with me or simply send me an email.

I hope to see you on the path of resilience!

Tim

Going Deeper

I do a type of fishing called downrigger fishing. Simply put, it’s a method of fishing from a boat which allows you to get your bait down deeper to where the fish are.

Downrigger weights are an expensive $40 a pop, the price you pay for going deep. If you lose one, there goes $40. When I started using a downrigger for fishing, I never imagined I would be paying $40 for a chunk of lead!

I’m used to going 20-30 feet deep to catch fish, albeit not very big fish. Recently, when I told a local fisherman about my desire to start fishing in Lake Tahoe, he explained that I would need to go down to 350 feet to catch fish, because that’s where the lunkers are. Then he went on to tell me about the squalls that come on lake, churning up waves of capsizing capability.

My reaction was discouragement at first. That kind of fishing would require all new equipment, not to mention much heavier (and more expensive) weights.  I began to work the numbers... all new equipment, including a bigger boat. Maybe I should wait until I win the lottery. Needless to say, I’m counting the cost of this potential new dive into the depths!

Thought: How much time, effort and expense am I willing to invest in order to get clarity and focus on what matters most?  I’m talking about something much weightier (no pun intended) than fishing.

In the Bible a good, young and wealthy man asked Jesus what he was lacking in his life, and what he should do about it.

“Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.” -Matthew  19:21

Jesus: Give it all up for the treasures of the Kingdom.

Young man: That makes me sad. I’ll catch you later Jesus.

My response: That’s a big ask Jesus, and thinking about it kind of makes me sad too. Can I keep my boat?

But if I sit with this response for a while longer I’m pretty sure I hear Jesus saying, “Knowing and embracing what really matters in this life is of paramount importance. Are you ready for me to take you on this journey of discovery?

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. -Matthew 13:44

The fishing example and this story from the Bible got me thinking…

What’s really important, and why? How much am I willing to invest in order to answer that question with confidence and clarity?

We pay a price for going deep into values-based, purposeful living. Self-discovery and discernment take some hard work. But the investment is well worth it. Getting clarity on core values and prioritizing our lives around those values is like having a large enough boat which holds steady in the storm and won’t capsize when the squalls come up.

Once we do the deeper work of clarifying our values, we have a much better chance at leveraging the present by answering the question, What’s important now? This is the W.I.N. you can learn more about one of my recent posts here.

Are you ready to take the next step toward clarity? Download my free values clarification resource here

Want to take a deeper dive? Take the full assessment and book a coaching call with me to gain further clarity