Why Millennials and Gen Z's are Hiring Life Coaches
The coaching movement continues to grow, especially among young adults looking for purpose and direction in life. More and more Millennials and Gen Z’s are hiring life coaches. Here are some insights into why this surge of interest is happening and what our response needs to be.
I recently came across an article in The Guardian about why more and more teenagers and young adults are relying on life coaches.
Why the reason for this shift? the writer asks. Are more and more young people hiring coaches for career advice, or to fend off loneliness? Or something else?
A 2017 ICF Survey reveals that 35% of Generation Z respondents (those born after 1995) already had a coach. While coaching services are often associated with professionals looking to advance their careers, it seems as if this landscape of perception seems to be shifting.
But the big question remains – Why? Why is life coaching becoming more and more appealing to young people?
Here’s my take as I reflect on the article, especially as it relates to what a Christian coach can offer to a generation of young coaching clients…
Purpose. A sense of purpose is tied to a long-term perspective, something many young adults have not yet acquired. That’s not a negative thing; it’s simply the reality they live in. That’s until they are exposed to long-term strategic thinking processes.
I count it a privilege when I get to coach someone with a short-term mindset. When that person comes with a willingness to learn, there is potential for a huge paradigm shift. They begin to see themselves as potential creators and contributors to society and the Kingdom of God rather than mere takers. They just might take hold of a long-term vision which requires hard work yet promises great reward. One insightful 26-year-old life coach is quoted in the article, “Your life purpose is meant to evolve over time and that question should be asked more than once. Lots of young people feel that, if they don’t get what they want right now, they’ll never get it. They forget they’re playing a long game.”
A long game, indeed! And long-term strategic thinking combined with a sense of purpose can change the world.
Pause and Consider. When my wife and I were in our 20’s and preparing to move to Central Asia as missionaries, we couldn’t get there soon enough. That sense of urgency compelled us to board a plane the day before Thanksgiving rather than delay departure and spend the holiday with our parents and other extended family. Not to mention we were taking our 1-year-old daughter away from her grandparents for 4 years! Even now, 23 years later, there’s some regret around that decision.
A sense of urgency, even for a good cause, is no guarantee for good choices. That reality hit home when we found ourselves on the other side of the world in a lonely, drab Central Asian apartment on Thanksgiving Day, crying into our bowl of ramen noodles.
If I don’t get it now, I might miss out. That’s what the urgency of youth says. But urgency without purpose is unstable in all its ways. Even good pursuits can be overshadowed by poor choices motivated by a sense of urgency. A great coach can help a young client slow down and think strategically and with more consideration of how their choices might impact those around them.
One young person quoted in the above-mentioned article states, “Young people just need to slow down; once we do, we finally have the space to figure out what we’re good at. From there, we can build much better, more considered lives.”
Potential. Coaching is not about fixing people; it’s about recognizing and affirming the client as resourceful, creative and capable. When the coaching is grounded in the biblical worldview that we are image-bearers of the Triune God, watch out! There’s no limit to what God, by His Spirit, can accomplish through the coaching relationship. When that message is communicated by the coach, in spoken and unspoken ways, the young client experiences an awakened sense of worth and potential.
“When I started (as a life coach), people would get a coach because they were a bit messed up or were struggling,” he says. “But now coaching is seen as a helpful space to figure stuff out – it’s almost a badge of honor to show people you’re committed to getting the best out of your life.”
Personal Desire. What do I want? This is the question young people are asking universally in one form or another. The implications of where this question leads are enormous. Christ-centered coaching offers inquiring teens and young adults different perspectives and new ways to explore personal desire. Why not leverage this felt need during this pivotal season of life as a springboard for some powerful questioning such as, what does God want? What are my expectations of God? What are His expectations of me? Why do I want this? What difference does it make? What’s the long-term impact of this choice?
Professional Skills Development. Newly acquired life skills are often a solid by-product when it comes to coaching young people. One 19-year-old who hired a life coach puts it this way: “Coaching teaches you how to communicate properly and how to prioritize different aspects of your life, which is something that we Gen Z’s have struggled with. We’ve grown up with technology and distractions – we almost have to learn how to look someone in the eye.” This highlights the modeling and mentoring component to the coaching relationship, which definitely has its place in professional coaching.
A Final Thought
Coaching young adults may not be something all coaches aspire to. However, as Christian coaches it’s important that we understand the current trends and shifts within the broader coaching movement. We should all agree that the reality of a new generation discovering the value of coaching is a good thing. And, if you’re reading this as a coach, you just might want to ask yourself, How could I carve out space in my coaching practice for one or two young clients?
Do you know a young person who’s struggling to discover their path to purpose? Book them a discovery call with me HERE.
Inspiration for this blog post comes from: Kalia, Ammar. “It’s a safety blanket: why more and more teenagers are relying on life coaches.“, The Guardian, July 31, 2019, https://bit.ly/2LSjsiH
Resilience, Trauma and Transition
Resilience helps us thrive and grow through and beyond traumatic events. When we are resilient, we know how to approach and handle a crisis situation. But we also know how to adapt and grow on the other side of crisis. Resilience is also a key ingredient to successful transitions.
Have you ever marveled at the multitude of defense mechanisms and coping strategies built into the natural world? Creatures and the various ways they cope is nothing less than amazing. More than that, the process is absolutely necessary for survival.
As a boy growing up, I loved catching lizards in the rocky foothills near my home. It was the perfect terrain for these little creatures. I’d sneak up from behind and snatch them off rocks. I’d hold them in my bare hands and check out their scales and coloring, annoy them for a while, then finally let them go. I recall times when a captive lizard would drop its tail - literally its tail would fall off and wriggle by itself on the ground while I continued to hold the poor, tail-less reptile. I later discovered why this tail-dropping phenomenon happens.
The lizard drops it tail under extreme stress.
The tail serves as both a defense mechanism and a distraction for predators.
The lizard may be vulnerable and appear awkward while learning to maneuver without its tail.
The tail eventually grows back and the lizard suffers no ill effects.
It’s worth noting that this defense mechanism works great when the predator attacks from behind, not so good when the lizard faces its enemy head-on!
Resilience and Trauma
Resilience, however, goes beyond survival. It’s the ability to recover, learn and grow following a traumatic event. Resilience recognizes the fact that one may need to unlearn certain coping and defense behaviors which may not be healthy long-term solutions. In other words, not all coping strategies are healthy or productive long-term.
What happens to you when you feel stressed? What does your body tell you to do? What are your go-to responses?
We all have certain default reactions and behaviors which we have used to survive a traumatic event? But are these adaptable to long-term resilience? While some approaches to personal survival can be useful in the moment of crisis, these same behaviors may actually sabotage one’s ability to thrive when life levels out to a new normal.
Example: You avoid public places and crowds due to a terrorist threat in your host country. Months later the crisis has passed, but you are still isolating yourself in your home for long periods of time, fearful of going outside. While staying home much of the time may have been a necessary survival skill when the threat was high, this is no longer a viable option. Resilience discerns the difference and adapts accordingly.
Resilience helps us thrive and grow through and beyond traumatic events. When we are resilient, we know how to approach and handle a crisis situation. But we also know how to adapt and grow on the other side of crisis.
Resilience and Transition
Resilience is also a key ingredient for successful transitions. Big transitions can bring about a great sense of loss. Like the lizard losing its tail, transition can cause us to feel crippled for a season while we regroup and settle into a new environment.
Two and a half years ago my wife and I made a decision to resign a ministry position after 20 years of service. Like the Iizard losing its tail, it felt like some part of my life had “fallen off.” After informing leadership of our decision to transition I said to my wife, “I feel like I just cut off my right leg.” I felt awkward and vulnerable, without a clear path ahead. Thus, the way of transition!
Transition requires navigating uncharted territory without the familiarity and access to resources we had before. And that feels intimidating. We may even be tempted to return to the place we were before the transition and subsequent feelings of loss. The great news is that there is life on the other side of transition.
Resilience and Your Story
“Resilience… is not simply bouncing back to a previous level of functioning. It is a matter of incorporating trauma into our personal and collective narratives.”
The human ability to recover and continue growing and overcoming is incredibly awe inspiring when you think about it. When you couple this with God’s redemptive power and creative plan as the Author of our lives, there is no telling what is possible. One writer puts it this way…
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
What’s your personal narrative? Need help reaching your potential for greater resilience in the New Year?
Begin your journey toward greater resilience. Schedule a discovery call now.
Building Resilience
How are you at bouncing back from difficulty and adapting to change? We risk defeat when we fail to recognize the need to develop resilience skills and put them to use. Ultimate success comes to those who learn and use resilience skills toward a favorable outcome. Read more…
Difficult times test our level of resilience.
In the animal kingdom we may think of resilience in terms of an animal’s ability to adapt and survive under extreme conditions. What about in the world of humans?
Here’s a few definitions of resilience from the Cambridge dictionary…
The ability to be happy or successful again after something difficult or bad has happened.
The ability of a substance to return to its usual shape after being bent, stretched or pressed.
The quality of being able to return quickly to a previously good condition after problems.
Personally I like to think of resilience as the ability to successfully bounce back from difficulty and adapt to change.
When we approach resilience from a biblical worldview we understand that God desires for his children to thrive and live out their purpose even in the midst of trouble. As Christ followers, we’re called to be overcomers. And that takes resilience.
Resilience is likely to be tested during the coming weeks and months among the thousands of people who witnessed the terror of last month’s Camp Fire which devastated the town of Paradise, California. This was very close to my home town of Chico. There are many stories of heroism and survival coming out of this event, but the stories of resilience are still being written.
While surviving a disaster such as this takes place in seconds, minutes and hours, resilience is proven over time and ultimately infuses our lives with purpose and meaning. According to Hebrews chapter 11 this is what a life of faith is all about.
The truth is we risk defeat when we fail to recognize our need to develop resilience skills and put them to use. Ultimate success comes to those who learn and use resilience skills toward a favorable outcome.
We all have some degree of resiliency skills. When change and difficulties are relatively minor, we adapt and move on. But when facing mounting problems and life-altering transitions, we can easily become stuck. The good news is that resiliency is a muscle we can grow when we take advantage of additional support and resources.
In the summer of 2016 we transitioned as a family back to the U.S., following 20 years of overseas life. Now, more than 2 years later, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to my wife or a trusted friend, “I never realized how hard this would be.” Adjustment and recovery take time. Resilience is vital to the process.
How are you doing in the resilience area? Here are some questions for self-reflection…
How am I feeling about this problem and my ability to get through it in a healthy manner?
What am I doing to prepare myself in order to successfully navigate this transition?
Is my natural tendency toward rigidity or flexibility? How is this impacting my relationships?
Where am I feeling stuck and in need of support or resources?
Have I settled into my new normal? Am I resisting things I cannot change?
What is upsetting my world right now and how am I responding to it?
I realize this is a long list of questions, but maybe one or two them stand out to you. Which ones? Pause and consider...
Final question: How resilient are you and what do you need to take your resilience to the next level?
Take a step toward better resilience by scheduling a complementary discovery coaching session HERE.
Until next time,
