Why Millennials and Gen Z's are Hiring Life Coaches

I recently came across an article in The Guardian about why more and more teenagers and young adults are relying on life coaches.

Why the reason for this shift? the writer asks. Are more and more young people hiring coaches for career advice, or to fend off loneliness? Or something else?

A 2017 ICF Survey reveals that 35% of Generation Z respondents (those born after 1995) already had a coach. While coaching services are often associated with professionals looking to advance their careers, it seems as if this landscape of perception seems to be shifting.

But the big question remains – Why? Why is life coaching becoming more and more appealing to young people?

Here’s my take as I reflect on the article, especially as it relates to what a Christian coach can offer to a generation of young coaching clients…

• Purpose. A sense of purpose is tied to a long-term perspective, something many young adults have not yet acquired. That’s not a negative thing; it’s simply the reality they live in. That’s until they are exposed to long-term strategic thinking processes.

  I count it a privilege when I get to coach someone with a short-term mindset. When that person comes with a willingness to learn, there is potential for a huge paradigm shift. They begin to see themselves as potential creators and contributors to society and the Kingdom of God rather than mere takers. They just might take hold of a long-term vision which requires hard work yet promises great reward. One insightful 26-year-old life coach is quoted in the article, “Your life purpose is meant to evolve over time and that question should be asked more than once. Lots of young people feel that, if they don’t get what they want right now, they’ll never get it. They forget they’re playing a long game.”

  A long game, indeed! And long-term strategic thinking combined with a sense of purpose can change the world.

• Pause and Consider. When my wife and I were in our 20’s and preparing to move to Central Asia as missionaries, we couldn’t get there soon enough. That sense of urgency compelled us to board a plane the day before Thanksgiving rather than delay departure and spend the holiday with our parents and other extended family. Not to mention we were taking our 1-year-old daughter away from her grandparents for 4 years! Even now, 23 years later, there’s some regret around that decision.

  A sense of urgency, even for a good cause, is no guarantee for good choices. That reality hit home when we found ourselves on the other side of the world in a lonely, drab Central Asian apartment on Thanksgiving Day, crying into our bowl of ramen noodles.

  If I don’t get it now, I might miss out. That’s what the urgency of youth says. But urgency without purpose is unstable in all its ways. Even good pursuits can be overshadowed by poor choices motivated by a sense of urgency. A great coach can help a young client slow down and think strategically and with more consideration of how their choices might impact those around them.

  One young person quoted in the above-mentioned article states, “Young people just need to slow down; once we do, we finally have the space to figure out what we’re good at. From there, we can build much better, more considered lives.”

• Potential. Coaching is not about fixing people; it’s about recognizing and affirming the client as resourceful, creative and capable. When the coaching is grounded in the biblical worldview that we are image-bearers of the Triune God, watch out! There’s no limit to what God, by His Spirit, can accomplish through the coaching relationship. When that message is communicated by the coach, in spoken and unspoken ways, the young client experiences an awakened sense of worth and potential.

“When I started (as a life coach), people would get a coach because they were a bit messed up or were struggling,” he says. “But now coaching is seen as a helpful space to figure stuff out – it’s almost a badge of honor to show people you’re committed to getting the best out of your life.”

— Michael Bungay Stanier, Life Coach

• Personal Desire. What do I want? This is the question young people are asking universally in one form or another. The implications of where this question leads are enormous. Christ-centered coaching offers inquiring teens and young adults different perspectives and new ways to explore personal desire. Why not leverage this felt need during this pivotal season of life as a springboard for some powerful questioning such as, what does God want? What are my expectations of God? What are His expectations of me? Why do I want this? What difference does it make? What’s the long-term impact of this choice?

• Professional Skills Development. Newly acquired life skills are often a solid by-product when it comes to coaching young people. One 19-year-old who hired a life coach puts it this way: “Coaching teaches you how to communicate properly and how to prioritize different aspects of your life, which is something that we Gen Z’s have struggled with. We’ve grown up with technology and distractions – we almost have to learn how to look someone in the eye.” This highlights the modeling and mentoring component to the coaching relationship, which definitely has its place in professional coaching.

A Final Thought

Coaching young adults may not be something all coaches aspire to. However, as Christian coaches it’s important that we understand the current trends and shifts within the broader coaching movement. We should all agree that the reality of a new generation discovering the value of coaching is a good thing. And, if you’re reading this as a coach, you just might want to ask yourself, How could I carve out space in my coaching practice for one or two young clients?

Do you know a young person who’s struggling to discover their path to purpose? Book them a discovery call with me HERE.

Inspiration for this blog post comes from: Kalia, Ammar. “It’s a safety blanket: why more and more teenagers are relying on life coaches.“, The Guardian, July 31, 2019, https://bit.ly/2LSjsiH

Soul-Care from the Cave

Read: I Samuel 22:1-2; Psalm 142 What does it look like to care for our own souls when hope feels like a distant memory? When what was promised is not delivered? David, forced to flee from a raging king, had made his temporary home in an abandoned cave. Bad news was imminent. Saul and his army were in hot pursuit, ready to take his life.

David was no stranger to caves. But this cave was more than a place of shelter for a tired shepherd boy. It was a place where he would learn resilience- how to relate to God in times of deep loss and confusion. How to steady his feet on God's promises and forge ahead with hope. Here are some ways we can learn, like David, to practice soul-care in the cave:

• Talk to God about your trouble. We can be brutally honest here. God is wise and sensitive, NOT fragile. He can handle our lists of complaints. I recently became extremely frustrated with a situation I was having to deal with. I was angry at others and God for not having solved my problems. In my frustration I said, "Leave me alone God!  Lay off!" Those words surprised me as they came out of my mouth.  I realized, however, that God was not shocked; he did not retreat. Those weren't the only words I said as I poured out my heart to Him. He heard every raw, gut-level complaint, and he loves me just the same. David said, "I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him" (Psalm 142:2). We can tell God anything. He can't break and he won't run away.
• Know He Knows. We can be assured that God knows the exact place we're in and the trajectory we're on. He knows. From inside the cave, there is a lot we can't see, much we don't know. Our vision and perspective may be limited by things outside of our control. But rather than feeling forced into a corner by our limited understanding, we can choose to take advantage of the opportunities the cave gives to relate, reflect and regroup. There is a knowing which comes from this. We begin to say with David, "When my spirit faints within me, you know my way (Psalm 142:3). Yes, He certainly does.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt. People aren't always going to be in a position to help us. We come to seasons in life when nobody seems to understand or care. Those who try to help may give simple answers to complex questions. They just don't understand. This season in the cave is between us and God. That should release us from placing the burden of making it better on anyone else, and to accept them for who they are, not what they can or cannot do about our situation. David despaired, "there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul." (Psalm 142:4) Fortunately that's not true all of the time. Just sometimes, and often in the cave.

I love how David ends his psalm in hope:

Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me. - Psalm 142:7

I'm still learning the value of the cave, the treasures which God reserves for me when I'm willing to sit in the dark with Him for a season. How do you find ways to care for your soul in life's darker seasons? I'd love to add a few more strategies to my list.

Prayer: Jesus was sent into the wilderness (Matthew 4:1). David was forced into a cave. Whether I'm being sent to the hard places or feel forced into them by circumstances beyond my control, help me to know that You know my way. May I learn life-transforming lessons while walking with You in difficult times.

Image Source: http://all-free-download.com/free-photos/download/joseph_wright_art_artistic_218722.html

Root Awakening

I'm pretty much bald. Have been for some time. It was in the gene pool, and I really don't have a problem with it. I've never had a second thought about passing up some product which claims to restore the roots under my scalp and magically grow a thick head of hair. Not gonna fall for it.

Last month I was a guest in the home of some friends. As I entered the shower I noticed a shampoo product called Root Awakening. I confess, I had to try it. Needless to say, the product failed to live up to its name. Guess it's too late for me.

In transition, I haven't been very successful at reviving dead roots. I once tried, during a year in the states between overseas assignments. It seemed to hold the magical formula. I was back in the town of my growing up years, revisiting people and places I once knew so well. It felt very nostalgic. But I failed to factor in that so much had changed during my long time away. Nostalgia ignores the reality of change. Years flew by and life went forward without me. Instead of sulking and feeling left behind, I needed to find stability somewhere else.

 Things began to make more sense when I started paying attention to the roots.

Does your transition have you feeling rootless? Either gradually or all at once, you've been yanked out of your cozy environment, roots dangling. For some of us, the roots went down deep, which made the pulling hurt even more. For others, maybe the roots weren't as deep. But it still hurts.

In certain situations, the transition was never forced upon us. We chose it ourselves, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

It may be too late for a guy like me to grow hair on his head, but it's never too late to rebuild the root system through transition. Three roots that need to be looked after are:

• The roots of identity. Who am I really, at the core of my being? What false identities have I been trusting in?
• The roots of purpose. Why am I here? What am I meant to do? What value does it have? What's important?
• The roots of relationship. With whom should I connect? Who will be my friends? What will my support system look like?

These big questions and others like them loom large in transition. And the good news is that transition seasons are fertile ground for discovery if we're asking the right questions.

The chaos of transition subsides when we wrestle with questions that promote root growth. If you're in a transition right now, let me encourage you to wrestle with the big questions in your personal times of prayer and reflection. It may also be helpful to process these questions with a trusted friend, counselor or life coach.

Could it be that in transition God is calling us back to our roots? And roots – good roots - bring about strength, consistency, and further growth.

A song we sing in our church states that God and his love are constant through the trial and the change. Even when life gets turned upside down in transition, we have this constant assurance.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

— Jeremiah 17:7-8, NIV

Are you preparing for growth by taking care of the roots? Transitions come and go. That which keeps us rooted remains the same.

Get help with your transition HERE