Resilience, Trauma and Transition
Resilience helps us thrive and grow through and beyond traumatic events. When we are resilient, we know how to approach and handle a crisis situation. But we also know how to adapt and grow on the other side of crisis. Resilience is also a key ingredient to successful transitions.
Have you ever marveled at the multitude of defense mechanisms and coping strategies built into the natural world? Creatures and the various ways they cope is nothing less than amazing. More than that, the process is absolutely necessary for survival.
As a boy growing up, I loved catching lizards in the rocky foothills near my home. It was the perfect terrain for these little creatures. I’d sneak up from behind and snatch them off rocks. I’d hold them in my bare hands and check out their scales and coloring, annoy them for a while, then finally let them go. I recall times when a captive lizard would drop its tail - literally its tail would fall off and wriggle by itself on the ground while I continued to hold the poor, tail-less reptile. I later discovered why this tail-dropping phenomenon happens.
The lizard drops it tail under extreme stress.
The tail serves as both a defense mechanism and a distraction for predators.
The lizard may be vulnerable and appear awkward while learning to maneuver without its tail.
The tail eventually grows back and the lizard suffers no ill effects.
It’s worth noting that this defense mechanism works great when the predator attacks from behind, not so good when the lizard faces its enemy head-on!
Resilience and Trauma
Resilience, however, goes beyond survival. It’s the ability to recover, learn and grow following a traumatic event. Resilience recognizes the fact that one may need to unlearn certain coping and defense behaviors which may not be healthy long-term solutions. In other words, not all coping strategies are healthy or productive long-term.
What happens to you when you feel stressed? What does your body tell you to do? What are your go-to responses?
We all have certain default reactions and behaviors which we have used to survive a traumatic event? But are these adaptable to long-term resilience? While some approaches to personal survival can be useful in the moment of crisis, these same behaviors may actually sabotage one’s ability to thrive when life levels out to a new normal.
Example: You avoid public places and crowds due to a terrorist threat in your host country. Months later the crisis has passed, but you are still isolating yourself in your home for long periods of time, fearful of going outside. While staying home much of the time may have been a necessary survival skill when the threat was high, this is no longer a viable option. Resilience discerns the difference and adapts accordingly.
Resilience helps us thrive and grow through and beyond traumatic events. When we are resilient, we know how to approach and handle a crisis situation. But we also know how to adapt and grow on the other side of crisis.
Resilience and Transition
Resilience is also a key ingredient for successful transitions. Big transitions can bring about a great sense of loss. Like the lizard losing its tail, transition can cause us to feel crippled for a season while we regroup and settle into a new environment.
Two and a half years ago my wife and I made a decision to resign a ministry position after 20 years of service. Like the Iizard losing its tail, it felt like some part of my life had “fallen off.” After informing leadership of our decision to transition I said to my wife, “I feel like I just cut off my right leg.” I felt awkward and vulnerable, without a clear path ahead. Thus, the way of transition!
Transition requires navigating uncharted territory without the familiarity and access to resources we had before. And that feels intimidating. We may even be tempted to return to the place we were before the transition and subsequent feelings of loss. The great news is that there is life on the other side of transition.
Resilience and Your Story
“Resilience… is not simply bouncing back to a previous level of functioning. It is a matter of incorporating trauma into our personal and collective narratives.”
The human ability to recover and continue growing and overcoming is incredibly awe inspiring when you think about it. When you couple this with God’s redemptive power and creative plan as the Author of our lives, there is no telling what is possible. One writer puts it this way…
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
What’s your personal narrative? Need help reaching your potential for greater resilience in the New Year?
Begin your journey toward greater resilience. Schedule a discovery call now.
Building Resilience
How are you at bouncing back from difficulty and adapting to change? We risk defeat when we fail to recognize the need to develop resilience skills and put them to use. Ultimate success comes to those who learn and use resilience skills toward a favorable outcome. Read more…
Difficult times test our level of resilience.
In the animal kingdom we may think of resilience in terms of an animal’s ability to adapt and survive under extreme conditions. What about in the world of humans?
Here’s a few definitions of resilience from the Cambridge dictionary…
The ability to be happy or successful again after something difficult or bad has happened.
The ability of a substance to return to its usual shape after being bent, stretched or pressed.
The quality of being able to return quickly to a previously good condition after problems.
Personally I like to think of resilience as the ability to successfully bounce back from difficulty and adapt to change.
When we approach resilience from a biblical worldview we understand that God desires for his children to thrive and live out their purpose even in the midst of trouble. As Christ followers, we’re called to be overcomers. And that takes resilience.
Resilience is likely to be tested during the coming weeks and months among the thousands of people who witnessed the terror of last month’s Camp Fire which devastated the town of Paradise, California. This was very close to my home town of Chico. There are many stories of heroism and survival coming out of this event, but the stories of resilience are still being written.
While surviving a disaster such as this takes place in seconds, minutes and hours, resilience is proven over time and ultimately infuses our lives with purpose and meaning. According to Hebrews chapter 11 this is what a life of faith is all about.
The truth is we risk defeat when we fail to recognize our need to develop resilience skills and put them to use. Ultimate success comes to those who learn and use resilience skills toward a favorable outcome.
We all have some degree of resiliency skills. When change and difficulties are relatively minor, we adapt and move on. But when facing mounting problems and life-altering transitions, we can easily become stuck. The good news is that resiliency is a muscle we can grow when we take advantage of additional support and resources.
In the summer of 2016 we transitioned as a family back to the U.S., following 20 years of overseas life. Now, more than 2 years later, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said to my wife or a trusted friend, “I never realized how hard this would be.” Adjustment and recovery take time. Resilience is vital to the process.
How are you doing in the resilience area? Here are some questions for self-reflection…
How am I feeling about this problem and my ability to get through it in a healthy manner?
What am I doing to prepare myself in order to successfully navigate this transition?
Is my natural tendency toward rigidity or flexibility? How is this impacting my relationships?
Where am I feeling stuck and in need of support or resources?
Have I settled into my new normal? Am I resisting things I cannot change?
What is upsetting my world right now and how am I responding to it?
I realize this is a long list of questions, but maybe one or two them stand out to you. Which ones? Pause and consider...
Final question: How resilient are you and what do you need to take your resilience to the next level?
Take a step toward better resilience by scheduling a complementary discovery coaching session HERE.
Until next time,
New Frontiers: 3 Outcomes of Cultivating Curiosity
Is a major transition igniting your curiosity in some unexpected or surprising way? Learn how cultivating curiosity through transition seasons can lead to 3 super positive outcomes.
I’m currently reading a book titled Undaunted Courage by Stephen E. Ambrose. The author’s retelling of the Lewis and Clark journey has kindled within me a new interest in American history. I attribute this newfound curiosity to the ways of transition.
The Lewis and Clark expedition was fueled by a good dose of curiosity during a major transition period. While other political and economic agendas were undoubtedly present, scientific discovery loomed large as a top priority. Simply put, curiosity got the better of our forefathers, proving to be a game changer in our country’s formation.
Transitions are like new expeditions into unexplored territory. As we set out on transition’s path, we may be surprised at what sparks interest and fuels motivation.
Is a major transition igniting your curiosity in some unexpected or surprising way? I encourage you to explore the uncharted territory which transition affords.
Cultivating curiosity through transition seasons can lead to 3 super positive outcomes:
1. Discovery. When we cultivate curiosity we begin to gain new perspective. Personal desires and dreams come to the surface. We become more aware of ourselves, our gifts and how we are wired. We discover values that have shifted. When I started to cultivate curiosity I began breaking out of restrictive patterns or thinking. Those patterns were part of my old life, but should they be part of the new? How can I make room for new desires and interests and awaken old interests that have been dormant?
2. Fulfillment. As we begin to live out of our new orientation, aligned with our values and convictions, we come to a new place of fulfillment. Fulfillment comes even as we awkwardly try on new schedules, priorities and activities. Why? Because we are moving in alignment with our convictions, not simply our comforts.
3. Wisdom. Wisdom is a treasure gained by paying attention. As we take the time to learn from the past and reflect on what our experiences have taught us, we gain a wealth of wisdom. We then take this valuable commodity into the next season and future transitions. As we share what we’ve learned with our fellow transitioners, wisdom is multiplied.
“Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold.”
What price are you willing to pay in order to secure this priceless commodity? How can you cultivate curiosity through your transition season? What clues into your purpose and destiny are waiting to be uncovered?
As your coach I’m here to support you. Schedule a complementary discovery call to get started on your journey.
Here to serve,
–Tim Austin
Founder and Coach, Encompass Life Coaching