Resilience: Challenging the Status Quo
When we allow ourselves to be shaped and formed in life’s struggles, we grow in resilience. In this way resilience takes us beyond a return to some original state or the status quo. It’s surrendering to a growth process and actually being changed.
When talking about resilience, I’ll sometimes use the illustration of a rubber ball that bounces back, or a rubber band that gets stretched then quickly returns to its original shape. These comparisons can be helpful. Who doesn’t want to lessen recovery time following a traumatic event, for example? However, from a forward-looking, growth-minded perspective resilience is so much more.
From a biblical worldview, we are called to participate in trials and suffering. As a result we are changed. When we allow ourselves to be shaped and formed in life’s struggles, we grow in resilience. In this way resilience takes us beyond a return to some original state or the status quo. It’s surrendering to a growth process. And in so doing, resilience becomes a transformative, dynamic work.
“Being resilient does not restore the status quo in your life, springing back to the way it was but, rather, what you have learned from tackling the adversity changes you for the better and helps you become more keenly aware of what is important in your life.” —Neenan and Dryden, Developing Resilience
As you go through hardship and struggle, how are you being changed? Are you becoming more aware of your values and priorities? Are you leveraging the learning opportunities and becoming a better person?More present? More qualified to equip and encourage others?
Questions for Reflection:
What circumstances might you be in right now that are touching on and quite possibly irritating you internally?
In what ways might those circumstances actually be refining some aspect of who you are?
And as you take a moment to consider those questions, also remember…
“Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but you've actually been planted.” —Christine Caine, Undaunted
Challenge the status quo! Unpack your challenging season with one of my debriefing coaching packages. I provide personalized, 1:1 coaching sessions to give you the space you need to sort through a season of intensity, capture insights, and move forward with intentionality.
The Path to Resilience
In our current context there’s a growing need for resilient workers, leaders and organizations. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficulty. It requires openness to change. But here’s the issue: We don’t change well on our own.
We may even resist change, digging in our heels and grasping for old certainties that don’t exist any longer. The road of resistance keeps us stuck. But forging a path of resilience can set us free. What does this path look like?
DISRUPTION
In seasons of transition and uncertainty, we need voices on the outside to disrupt our thinking by reflecting our thoughts back to us, challenging us to consider why we think and perceive things the way we do. This is the path of resilience: disruption…reflection….learning….action. And that’s hard to do in isolation, as most of us can testify. Been there. Done that.
My wife knows I’m pretty darn ticklish, and she’ll take advantage of that at times. It doesn’t take much effort on her part to make me squirm. But even as a ticklish individual, I can’t tickle myself. Leadership coach Marcia Reynolds states, “For the same reason we can’t tickle ourselves, our brains resist self- imposed testing of thoughts and reactions.” The catalyst for transformation requires engaging a process of disruption from the outside.
In this transition season, do you find yourself welcoming the disruption, or resisting it?
REFLECTION AND LEARNING
What could opening ourselves up to this process look like? As we allow more space and time to reflect and process the change, we do well to invite outside “disrupters” into our lives who bring the gift of presence, active listening and powerful questioning. When we have the courage to invite disruption, the stories we tell ourselves - our personal narratives – can change. In the process, we begin to learn and grow outside our perceived limits, moving all the while toward greater resilience.
What’s been your personal narrative through this transition season, the story you’ve been telling yourself? Has it been one of resistance or openness? Is it leading to resilience or feelings of stuckness? These personal narratives impact our emotional and spiritual well-being, our relationships and organizational cultures. Engaging a process of disruption, reflection, learning and action lends itself to changing the narrative and creating a culture of personal and professional resilience.
ACTION
The path to resilience…disruption, reflection and learning…combine to create the clarity and momentum necessary for positive Spirit-led action to take place. But the process takes time. The temptation is to leap into action too soon, hoping to avoid the pain and uncertainty by making it to the other side of transition. As a result, the process of learning and growth gets sabotaged. Here are some potential focus areas to consider as you slow down, invite disruption and move toward greater resilience:
Revisiting personal and organizational core values.
Soaking in God’s Word regularly…renewing our minds.
Sorting and sifting ideas and options by engaging in a season of discernment.
Confronting Identity issues and aligning what I do with who I am.
Learning new strategies for consistently showing up and taking action.
Recognizing and removing obstacles to growth and development.
Focus and self-discipline….leading ourselves with greater intentionality.
Prioritizing what matters most and creating strategies to achieve desired outcomes.
Some questions to consider…
Which of the above focus areas could take on a community or organizational approach? Which ones are more personal, individual, and reflective?
Who could you invite into your personal journey toward greater agility as you consider these focus areas? A coach, counselor, spiritual director, mentor, trusted friend?
What path are you on? The one of resilience or resistance?
If you’re finding yourself resisting rather than engaging the process of resilience, I’d love to explore some options with you. Let’s have a conversation. Schedule a discovery call with me or simply send me an email.
I hope to see you on the path of resilience!
Tim
Resilience, Trauma and Transition
Resilience helps us thrive and grow through and beyond traumatic events. When we are resilient, we know how to approach and handle a crisis situation. But we also know how to adapt and grow on the other side of crisis. Resilience is also a key ingredient to successful transitions.
Have you ever marveled at the multitude of defense mechanisms and coping strategies built into the natural world? Creatures and the various ways they cope is nothing less than amazing. More than that, the process is absolutely necessary for survival.
As a boy growing up, I loved catching lizards in the rocky foothills near my home. It was the perfect terrain for these little creatures. I’d sneak up from behind and snatch them off rocks. I’d hold them in my bare hands and check out their scales and coloring, annoy them for a while, then finally let them go. I recall times when a captive lizard would drop its tail - literally its tail would fall off and wriggle by itself on the ground while I continued to hold the poor, tail-less reptile. I later discovered why this tail-dropping phenomenon happens.
The lizard drops it tail under extreme stress.
The tail serves as both a defense mechanism and a distraction for predators.
The lizard may be vulnerable and appear awkward while learning to maneuver without its tail.
The tail eventually grows back and the lizard suffers no ill effects.
It’s worth noting that this defense mechanism works great when the predator attacks from behind, not so good when the lizard faces its enemy head-on!
Resilience and Trauma
Resilience, however, goes beyond survival. It’s the ability to recover, learn and grow following a traumatic event. Resilience recognizes the fact that one may need to unlearn certain coping and defense behaviors which may not be healthy long-term solutions. In other words, not all coping strategies are healthy or productive long-term.
What happens to you when you feel stressed? What does your body tell you to do? What are your go-to responses?
We all have certain default reactions and behaviors which we have used to survive a traumatic event? But are these adaptable to long-term resilience? While some approaches to personal survival can be useful in the moment of crisis, these same behaviors may actually sabotage one’s ability to thrive when life levels out to a new normal.
Example: You avoid public places and crowds due to a terrorist threat in your host country. Months later the crisis has passed, but you are still isolating yourself in your home for long periods of time, fearful of going outside. While staying home much of the time may have been a necessary survival skill when the threat was high, this is no longer a viable option. Resilience discerns the difference and adapts accordingly.
Resilience helps us thrive and grow through and beyond traumatic events. When we are resilient, we know how to approach and handle a crisis situation. But we also know how to adapt and grow on the other side of crisis.
Resilience and Transition
Resilience is also a key ingredient for successful transitions. Big transitions can bring about a great sense of loss. Like the lizard losing its tail, transition can cause us to feel crippled for a season while we regroup and settle into a new environment.
Two and a half years ago my wife and I made a decision to resign a ministry position after 20 years of service. Like the Iizard losing its tail, it felt like some part of my life had “fallen off.” After informing leadership of our decision to transition I said to my wife, “I feel like I just cut off my right leg.” I felt awkward and vulnerable, without a clear path ahead. Thus, the way of transition!
Transition requires navigating uncharted territory without the familiarity and access to resources we had before. And that feels intimidating. We may even be tempted to return to the place we were before the transition and subsequent feelings of loss. The great news is that there is life on the other side of transition.
Resilience and Your Story
“Resilience… is not simply bouncing back to a previous level of functioning. It is a matter of incorporating trauma into our personal and collective narratives.”
The human ability to recover and continue growing and overcoming is incredibly awe inspiring when you think about it. When you couple this with God’s redemptive power and creative plan as the Author of our lives, there is no telling what is possible. One writer puts it this way…
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
What’s your personal narrative? Need help reaching your potential for greater resilience in the New Year?
Begin your journey toward greater resilience. Schedule a discovery call now.