Risk, Uncertainty, and Perfectionism

Perfectionism. It tends to demand an unreasonable amount of preparedness, of getting our ducks in a row before stepping into something new. It can paralyze us completely or radically slow us down, especially in big transition seasons. I know because I’ve been there. Ok, I am there!

My most recent transition to full time coaching has held a fair amount of risk and uncertainty. Combine that with a strong desire to get it right the first time...well, you can see where I’m going.

If you have perfectionist tendencies coupled with being in a season of risk and uncertainty, here’s 2 tips to get you unstuck and moving forward...

1.    AVOID OVER-PREPARATION

Perfectionism left unchecked can hinder creativity and discovery. When we’re not feeling ready do something with excellence, we might avoid it altogether by leaning into a thousand other distractions. I’ve been successfully overcoming this pattern by NOT over-preparing and over-thinking certain areas of focus. For example, while I may be tempted to script a podcast conversation, I’ll choose not to. By resisting the urge to over-prepare and stifle creativity, I’m allowing for a more natural, free-flowing conversation.

We can never be fully prepared in uncharted territory. Transition to the new and unfamiliar must leave margin for mistakes and do-overs. The Spirit’s creative work is released into our lives when we acknowledge we don’t have all the answers.

2.    TAKE NOTICE MORE OFTEN

“Trust in and rely confidently on the LORD with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].” - Proverbs 3:5-6 AMP

Cultivating an awareness of Gods presence with us throughout transition seasons is what sustains us through the uncertainty, calming our nerves and giving us courage. A regular practice of pausing and taking notice gets to the heart of what God wants...relationship. It also moves our focus away from perfection and performance. I like how this coach and author puts it....

“I discovered that Jesus was more interested in whether we did things together than if I did things right. And without even focusing on change, I changed—dramatically.” 

- Tony Stoltzfus, The Invitation

Some final thoughts...

The perfectionist in us can go to extremes. We may react by trying to predict possibilities and control outcomes. Or, we might simply stop engaging because it feels too hard to get it right. There’s a better, more balanced approach to navigating change. By avoiding over-preparation and taking notice more often I try to keep myself in the creative discovery zone of transition. What other practices have helped you?

Transition seasons have been called the messy middle. The upheaval is disturbing and unsettling. But don’t let the uncertainty be the only thing you see. Explore the possibilities. Discover the new.

Journey into discovery by scheduling a call with me HERE.

“When a yes is inspired by God’s timing and spoken in submission to God’s will, the servant is guarded and the Giver is glorified.” - Alicia Britt Chole, The Sacred Slow

Seamless Provision

The day after the Passover, that very day, they ate some of the produce of the land: unleavened bread and roasted grain. The manna stopped the day after they ate this food from the land; there was no longer any manna for the Israelites, but that year they ate the produce of Canaan. - Joshua 5:11-12

I notice something from this passage which seems to be true about most transition seasons. They are opportunities to trust God when resources we’ve come to depend on are no longer part of our lives. But trusting can be difficult to do when we can’t see the path forward or envision the ideal future we long for. Wilderness transitions are like that. We struggle to believe. We imagine worst case scenarios…

 What if my support dries up? What if I let go of this dependable paycheck so I can launch this dream, and God doesn’t come through? What if someone in my family experiences a health crisis while in the middle of this transition?

 Transition seasons challenge our ability to trust for daily provision, especially when the transition involves prolonged time in-between jobs and subsequent loss of income. I’ve worked with multiple clients who have struggled with trusting as they navigate this messy middle, having lost one dependable source of income while waiting for something else to replace it.

Manna represents God’s desire and ability to care for and sustain his children in wilderness seasons…miraculously. The Israelites experienced 40 years in the desert…a long season defined by the miraculous. Talk about prolonged transition! During this time, God provided a fresh, daily supply of manna (sort of like bread) from heaven to sustain them. There were other ways He provided as well. He caused the sandals on their feet to not wear out. He gave them water from a rock on more than one occasion. He led them through the desert by means of a pillar of cloud by day (shade and protection) and a pillar of fire by night to light their way (guidance).

 Finally, after a generation had passed, they crossed the Jordan river and were standing on the other side (think successful transition, phase 1). Suddenly the flow of manna stopped and seamlessly a new source of provision came through. Did I say seamlessly? Yes, God’s provision can be seamless in transition seasons when we understand the depth and breadth of his care.

 Here’s 3 things to know when it comes to experiencing seamless provision in times of transition…

• Seamless provision is not measured merely in monitary terms. As I look back on those in-between seasons of my life when money was scarce, I can truly thank God for the many other ways he seamlessly provided. He blessed my family with good health during times when a large dentist or medical bill would have been devastating. Unexpected gifts came from unexpected sources, causing me to thank God not only for the provision itself, but for the people through whom it came. He’s given me peace and courage to press on when I’ve been tempted to take the easy way out instead of staying on a more rewarding, albeit a more difficult path.

• Seamless provision doesn’t mean the absence of scarcity. Resources can become scarce when things are shifting. Previous wells dry up, requiring us to dig new ones. While traversing the desert, the Israelites did not feast on pots of meat every day like they did in Egypt. It was a lean and prolonged season. Lean because of the environment; prolonged, at least in part, due to their disobedience. Nonetheless, God met their needs through hostile places and uncertain times. He can do the same for us.

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. - Isaiah 42:16

• Seamless provision is actualized one step at a time. When the Israelites crossed the Jordan and ate their first meal from the produce of the promised land, they had no idea that the manna would not be waiting for them to gather outside their tents the next morning. It was a sudden shift in provision following a long journey, made possible by a step of faith in harmony with God’s mysterious and perfect plan. It was seamless as long as they kept moving forward, in step with God’s plan. They would soon face the next step of faith as they approached the walls of Jericho (Joshua 6).

 Transition is less about big leaps and more about a sequence of steps. It’s less about being a one-time event and more about process. - Tim Austin

 What do you need today to embrace and engage this transition season you’re in? What shift in perspective do you need in order to move through a transition of seamless provision?

 How can I help? Book a discovery call with me HERE.

 P.S.  Provision is waiting on the other side. Clarity is just around the corner.

---

*Photo by Gabriela Palai from Pexels

Creative Conversations

The creative middle…that’s what I call the place between endings and new beginnings.

It’s that often overlooked space in transition seasons which holds some of the biggest potential for discovery and growth. If we leverage the creative middle wisely and engage it fully, we’re most likely to meet with success on the other side. If not, we miss out on some wonderful opportunities to co-create an ideal future in partnership with the Alpha and Omega…God Himself.

Transition triggers the creative process like nothing else can.

Just as the warmth of Spring triggers the onset of new growth, internal and external change can be the impetus for creative seasons in our lives. How we leverage these seasons of change can make all the difference. Creative conversations play a big part in the process.

Creative conversations…

What are they? What do they look like? Are you having them?

Creative conversations are ones that challenge us to think outside of perceived limitations and boundaries. They inspire us to experiment with new ways of believing, being, and doing. They cause us to see some situation -a crisis or conflict for example- from a new angle. They open our eyes to what could be. When we’re fortunate enough to have them, creative conversations can be the impetus for renewed hope and resolve.

Reflect on a time when you had a creative conversation with someone at a critical moment or crossroads in your life. What was the impact?

As I work with fellow transitioners, I’ve become convinced that some kind of consistent processing over a season is the key to successful transitions. I’m not simply talking about one-off conversations. These conversations can be inspirational and challenging, but with no follow-up or follow-through, we can stay stuck.

While navigating some personal life and ministry transitions, I’ve learned the value of consistent coaching sessions to keep me fully engaged in the creative process. If you’re not benefiting from consistent, creative conversations in your season of change you could be feeling alone, isolated, discouraged or confused. You could be stuck!

Coaching and Creative Conversations

Hiring a coach, particularly one in touch with your unique needs, can be a great way to break out of the isolation and start some creative conversations. A good coach is trained in the art of asking great questions and facilitating a structure around those questions to help you consider all the components of a healthy transition.

There are multitudes of titles connected to coaches these days: life coach, executive coach, health and wellness coach, transformational coach…and the list goes on. I often refer to what I do as transitions coaching, but in reality I’m a life coach who happens to be passionate about coaching around life purpose and transitions. Get the idea? We could spend a lot of time discussing what a life coach does and doesn’t do, but I often say the best way to learn is by experiencing coaching first-hand!

When transition first triggers a creative process, it can feel more like confusion than opportunity. Something is upsetting the norm, and we’re not sure what to think about it and how to respond to it.

I recently coached a missionary whose overseas assignment was coming to a close. He wanted to engage the creative opportunity as part of the shift, particularly in the area of pursuing a writing career. Our series of coaching sessions lasted several months. As one creative conversation built upon another, confusion ultimately gave way to confidence as he began to see the creative writing process as an extension of his calling.

When someone dedicated to your personal growth and professional success expresses belief in you as a person with God-given creative potential, the borders begin to expand. We begin discovering creative opportunities to live out our life callings. This is the role of a great coach.

Interested in getting coached? Here’s some tips to get you started…

Find the Right Coach for You

Whether you’re part of a business or ministry, inquire about the possibility of in-house coaching. If available, is it right for you? Or would you benefit from working with a coach somewhat more removed from your organizational and/or ministry context? You may also want to ask around for recommendations. It’s very likely that someone in your circle has benefited from working with a coach and would love to give you a referral.

Take your time and talk to a few potential coaches personally if you can. Get a feel for what they offer and what they’re passionate about when it comes to coaching. Some coaches offer complementary discovery calls, which serve to give both client and coach an opportunity to determine if the coaching relationship will be a good fit.

What will it Cost?

Funding personal coaching may be a concern when money is tight. Here’s some thoughts and suggestions…

Inquire with your HR department about helping to fund a season of personal coaching. Convinced that hiring a coach can be a great step toward personal and professional development, some businesses and non-profits are ready to invest in this way. At the very least, your inquiry could raise awareness of the need and spark a dialogue.

Always keep in mind that working with a great coach will be well worth the time, effort and any out-of- pocket expenses you may incur. Therefore coaching should be viewed as an investment, a means of stewarding our life callings well.

In summary, a great coaching relationship will challenge you to be your best and to live up to your God-given potential. It will require courage and intentionality on your part. What impact could a season of creative conversations with a coach have in your life right now? Are you ready to find out? Schedule a call HERE.

Source Image: https://www.newhope.com/business-resources/authenticity-workplace-starts-conscious-conversations