Remembering the Why: Memory and Motivation
Faith is rooted in memory, and we are stewards of them both. When we take the time to remember well, we lay the groundwork for increased motivation and giving back to our neighbors and communities. Read more about how to pay it forward!
“When you beat the olives from your trees, do not go over the branches a second time. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow. When you harvest the grapes in your vineyard, do not go over the vines again. Leave what remains for the foreigner, the fatherless and the widow. Remember that you were slaves in Egypt. That is why I command you to do this.”
When I was a teenager, my hunting buddy and I would always return to our favorite place, a creek bed surrounded on either side by overgrown brush and orange orchards. When the hunting got slow or we grew tired, we'd crawl up under an orange tree and gorge ourselves, thankful that the harvesters had left a few ripe ones on the trees for us. If I were a farmer now, I would like to leave some fruit on my trees for a couple of tired boys. I'd like to pay it forward.
One of the greatest assets to increased motivation is remembering. The practice of paying it forward is grounded in memory.
The simplest way to define "pay it forward" is that when someone does something for you, instead of paying that person back directly, you pass it on to another person instead. In the Israelite's case, God had given them a harvest and they were to pass the blessing on to the foreigners in their midst. This concept is rooted in the scriptural command to love our neighbor.
God was encouraging His people to remember His kindnesses to them and to pass that kindness along to others. Why? Because they had been captives themselves, foreigners in a strange land. In this context the why was extremely important. Their motivation for paying it forward was rooted in memory. The same principle applies to us today.
There are two ways our memories can serve us, and both of them create opportunity to give back to others:
- I was helped in some way by this person or cause, and I choose to pay it forward.
- I was NOT shown kindness or helped in that situation, therefore I will be the first one to show kindness to someone else.
In the first case, we continue the cycle of paying it forward; in the second, which is always harder to do, we create potential for the cycle to start and gain momentum.
Gratitude comes into play here. Through grateful people much good can be done in our world.
Grateful people give because they know what it's like to be in need.
Grateful people give because they want to say “thank you” in some tangible way.
Grateful people give because they know what it feels like to receive the timely help of another.
“Loss of attentiveness plays into loss of memory. They are blood brothers, we simply don’t remember what we never stopped to notice.”
Faith is rooted in memory, and we are stewards of them both. When we take the time to remember well, we lay the groundwork for increased motivation and giving back to our neighbors and communities. Harvest your grapes, and leave some for others. Why? Because you were_____________(You fill in the blank).
On a different note, a quick update on our transition as a family from Turkey back to the good ol’ USA. We were celebrating my youngest daughter's birthday following one month of living stateside. As we were sitting around the table her mom and I asked her what she hoped for in her 14th year. “I want to thrive as a family and to be a light at school”, she said. Needless to say, she has two proud parents.
Thriving and shining. Transitions, long and difficult ones, tend to wreak havoc with both of these godly desires. How can we measure progress when chaos seems to rule? How can we feel purposeful when the rug is getting pulled out from underneath our feet, either slowly or all at once? Can we really thrive and shine on the other side of transition?
I agree completely with my daughter’s wise wishes. The dust of transition will settle. And when it's all said and done I want to to thrive and shine in this new season.
Transition and the ability to thrive….sounds like a good topic for my next post.
Meanwhile, on the heels of transition I’ll join my daughter in her pursuit. Here's to thriving and shining, whatever season you're in!
Tim, Encompass Life Coaching
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Transition's Final Word
Life is not all about transition, but it can seem so at times. Some transition seasons feel all-consuming. Here's a few raw and random thoughts and tips as I summarize the final chapter of my transition journey...
“Usually I am so immersed in what I do that I know myself only in relation to it.”
Life is not all about transition. Really? Most of us who are going through the turbulent waters of change may not agree with that statement. Transition does seem all-consuming at times. Here's a few raw and random thoughts and tips as I seek to summarize my transition journey...
Laugh it off.
My wife and I recently had a good laugh together as we took stock of our physical conditions following our most recent international move. Sore feet, aching backs, and overall physical and emotional exhaustion ironically had us laughing as we compared notes. We've also shared lots of silliness and laughter at the dinner table with our kids. A sense of humor is an invaluable asset when everything in life that can shake and shift does so, sometimes all at once.
Normalize it.
Emotional and physical stress are two sides of the transition coin. The combination of the two can result in unusual manifestations. Personally, I've been known to say incoherent things and act rather strangely. While in transition's tight grip, I've had friends, colleagues and family confused and bewildered. Admit it. You can relate to my confession. It helps just to be aware, to normalize the fact that transition pushes our buttons in strange and mysterious ways.
Be Done with it.
As I sit here writing somewhere over the Atlantic I can't tell you how relieved I’m feeling. Partly because I'm prone to bouts of worry through long transitions. It feels good to be moving on to a new set of concerns. Also partly because I'm an internal processor and I'm feeling like this piece of who I am has been taxed to the limit. I've done all the processing I can handle...for now. It's time to watch some movies on the screen built into the seat in front of me and let all the processing fall by the wayside. Is that even possible? I think not.
Recover and Regroup.
I guess what I'm saying is this: After all the change and uncertainty, I'm looking forward to a little less internal work and more outward expression of what the change has wrought in me. I want to be done with transition for a while. I want to recover and regroup, partly because I know change is inevitable and it won't be long before a new kind of transition comes my way. One that is uniquely designed by God for my growth and will somehow contribute to the bigger picture that only He understands.
Maintain in the Middle.
Maintaining some semblance of routine serves as a counterweight when big changes come our way. There is no better way to maintain some degree of stability and balance than by holding on to as much normalcy as possible. It's not only about dealing with and preparing for change; it's about continuing to live life well right in the middle of it. Here's a few healthy habits which have served to keep me grounded while juggling the many balls of transition:
- Family dinners together as much as possible, sprinkled with a good dose of laughter.
- Friday dinner and movie dates as a couple.
- Predictable morning routine, which for me means scripture reading, writing, walking the dog, and coffee!
- Family game or movie night once per week.
What routines have you been able to maintain while simultaneously working through change?
By the way, thanks to my wife, children, friends, mentors and coaches who have walked this inward journey with me. God has used you to shape my character and refine my calling. It's when I'm with you, in the moment, that I feel grounded and less prone to worry about all the unknowns.
“The span between life as we intend it and life as we receive it is vast. Our true purpose is worked out in that gap. It is fashioned in the crucible of interruptions.”
This transition season has been one of the longest and difficult, yet most rewarding holy interruptions of my life. A purposeful gap in between life's more predictable seasons.
Cheering you on in your transition,
Tim
Endings, Choices, and Redemption
Emptiness may be part of what we feel during difficult transitions, but we cannot let it consume nor define us. God and his redemptive purpose weaves its way in and out of transition – unchanged...unhindered.
ENDINGS
“After the death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ aide: “Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you and all these people, get ready to cross the Jordan River into the land I am about to give to them—to the Israelites.”
I'm getting ready to cross over to the other side... literally. Turkey to USA. In just a matter of weeks. The event will be over in less than 24 hours. The process, on the other hand is far from completion. The way of transition...
I've navigated many journeys here and back over the years. But this time it's different. I'm without some of the old, familiar securities as in past transitions. I'm missing a dependable financial base, a place and role by which I've been recognized all these years, and a new community yet to be carved out. It's new and somewhat risky territory.
What's missing in your transition season? When you find it again, will it look and feel the same? Will you ever find it again, or will it be replaced with something new? Something better perhaps?
Like Joshua and the Israelites grieved the death of Moses, I too mourn the close of a long chapter. Endings are hard to navigate, yet this ending is good and necessary for my growth as a leader and follower of Jesus. I'm sure of it. I'm just not completely comfortable with it. What in your transition is causing some discomfort?
CHOICES
“At this they wept aloud again. Then Orpah kissed her mother-in-law goodbye, but Ruth clung to her.”
There are seasons when leaving and staying sort of mingle together. The boundaries are not clearly defined. Like Naomi’s daughter-in-law Ruth, we may do well in opting for greater connection. When given the choice to stay or go, Ruth clung to Naomi and her new-found roots in the community of Gods people. At the same time, she transitioned to a new location. Rootedness and upheaval co-existing together.
This can be a great combination: holding onto key relationships helps us stay grounded while other areas shift. My bet is that Ruth fared better than Orpah because Orpah failed to value the relationship. Orpah said goodbye to everything; Ruth opted for leaving a place but staying connected to the people she loved. It was the commitment to the relationship which ultimately led her to inherit much blessing.
As my leaving draws near, I'm trying to be intentional about staying connected to a handful of people. Lately, I find myself inviting more of my friends to California to visit me in my new environment. Will anyone take me up on the invitation? That's really not the point. I'm telling them how important the relationship is to me, important enough to want to see them again. What are some other ways we can prioritize the relationships even in the leaving phase?
REDEMPTION
“I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”
Sound familiar? A full life. Full of determination. Full of vision. Full of excitement. Full of hope.
Then, sometimes rapidly, sometimes gradually, the emptiness takes over. And running on empty is not sustainable for the long term. You went away full, but somehow you've come to this place of emptiness.
“Then Naomi took the child in her arms and cared for him. The women living there said, “Naomi has a son!” And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.”
Emptiness may be part of what we feel during difficult transitions, but we cannot let it consume nor define us. God and his redemptive purpose weaves its way in and out of transition – unchanged...unhindered. As the drama of Naomi’s plight unfolds, we trace the sovereign hand of God. She started out empty. She ended up holding a grandson in the lineage of the promised Savior.