3 Strategies for Managing Turmoil

Transitions are naturally times and seasons of turmoil. I’m convinced the tragedy in transition comes when we fail to pause long enough to process the change...not just the change happening outwardly, but more importantly the change taking place within us. Effectively managing the turmoil of transitions is no easy process, but with some patience and intentionality it can be done. Here’s some strategies for managing the turmoil of transition...

1. AVOID BIG LEAPS IF POSSIBLE

The path of hurried, unreflective transition is fraught with danger.

When not paying attention, we’re prone to leap rather than take the series of steps transition requires. It’s difficult to see what’s behind us, what’s in front, and anything in-between while a leap is in motion. We just don’t have time to gather our thoughts and enjoy the view, let alone gather much needed perspective along the way. We tend to only see what’s in front of us, and even our vision of that is blurred. More often than not, we do well to avoid the big leaps and move in a progression of steps.

2. REMEMBER AND RECONSTRUCT

Change and upheaval seems to break life down into fragments. Life in fragments is not easy to navigate, but with it comes opportunity for a new kind of wholeness. Rummaging through the storehouse of memories helps us engage the prayerful process of discernment, gain clarity and reconstruct a strategy for moving forward.  Remembering is a process of bringing meaning out of the fragments of our lives. Author Bruce Feiler explains, 

“When in turmoil, turn to narrative. The proper response to a setback is a story....reimagining and reconstructing our personal stories is vital to living a fulfilling life.”
- Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at any Age

“This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” -Jeremiah 6:16

3. DON’T MISS THE MOMENTS

“I believe that God is often providing the opportunity for transition, but since we don’t have eyes to see it we may have been missing it.”
- John Eldridge, Get Your Life Back

What are the transitional moments within your larger transition? And how can you leverage them in a meaningful, life giving way? Eldridge goes on to explain that allowing for transition from one thing to the next is simply a way of being kind to ourselves. I agree. We cannot sustain rough landings and quick starts for very long without the process taking its toll on our hearts, minds and bodies. Be kind to yourself. Make room for the little transitions throughout the day.

I recently set up reminders for myself to pause, reflect and pray. In between coaching sessions, writing, or some other task, I intentionally pause, sometimes even stepping outside to observe and express gratitude to the God of all creation. These small transition moments have made working from home more sustainable. To fill every moment of our lives for efficiency’s sake makes for a robotic existence!

Want some more tips for navigating a successful transition?
Download my free pdf, 5 Essentials for a Winning Transition here.

Book a discovery call here

Risk, Uncertainty, and Perfectionism

Perfectionism. It tends to demand an unreasonable amount of preparedness, of getting our ducks in a row before stepping into something new. It can paralyze us completely or radically slow us down, especially in big transition seasons. I know because I’ve been there. Ok, I am there!

My most recent transition to full time coaching has held a fair amount of risk and uncertainty. Combine that with a strong desire to get it right the first time...well, you can see where I’m going.

If you have perfectionist tendencies coupled with being in a season of risk and uncertainty, here’s 2 tips to get you unstuck and moving forward...

1.    AVOID OVER-PREPARATION

Perfectionism left unchecked can hinder creativity and discovery. When we’re not feeling ready do something with excellence, we might avoid it altogether by leaning into a thousand other distractions. I’ve been successfully overcoming this pattern by NOT over-preparing and over-thinking certain areas of focus. For example, while I may be tempted to script a podcast conversation, I’ll choose not to. By resisting the urge to over-prepare and stifle creativity, I’m allowing for a more natural, free-flowing conversation.

We can never be fully prepared in uncharted territory. Transition to the new and unfamiliar must leave margin for mistakes and do-overs. The Spirit’s creative work is released into our lives when we acknowledge we don’t have all the answers.

2.    TAKE NOTICE MORE OFTEN

“Trust in and rely confidently on the LORD with all your heart And do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way].” - Proverbs 3:5-6 AMP

Cultivating an awareness of Gods presence with us throughout transition seasons is what sustains us through the uncertainty, calming our nerves and giving us courage. A regular practice of pausing and taking notice gets to the heart of what God wants...relationship. It also moves our focus away from perfection and performance. I like how this coach and author puts it....

“I discovered that Jesus was more interested in whether we did things together than if I did things right. And without even focusing on change, I changed—dramatically.” 

- Tony Stoltzfus, The Invitation

Some final thoughts...

The perfectionist in us can go to extremes. We may react by trying to predict possibilities and control outcomes. Or, we might simply stop engaging because it feels too hard to get it right. There’s a better, more balanced approach to navigating change. By avoiding over-preparation and taking notice more often I try to keep myself in the creative discovery zone of transition. What other practices have helped you?

Transition seasons have been called the messy middle. The upheaval is disturbing and unsettling. But don’t let the uncertainty be the only thing you see. Explore the possibilities. Discover the new.

Journey into discovery by scheduling a call with me HERE.

“When a yes is inspired by God’s timing and spoken in submission to God’s will, the servant is guarded and the Giver is glorified.” - Alicia Britt Chole, The Sacred Slow

Digital Decluttering

I can’t recall my father ever showing me how to drive a nail or swing an axe.

He was a businessman who often did his best work or got his next great idea by scribbling numbers on a napkin while sipping tea at his favorite diner. A pen, napkin, and a sharp mind for his tools…pretty simple eh?

Let’s admit it…some of us are tool junkies, always looking for the latest and greatest app or resource which could be that silver bullet to help propel our lives and work further, faster.

Sometimes it feels like an endless search for something that doesn’t exist. While I’m all for equipping oneself with new and useful tools (key word: useful), the reality is tools are only part of the equation.

I came across this verse today in my scripture reading…

“Remember: The duller the ax the harder the work; Use your head: The more brains, the less muscle.”
- Ecclesiastes 10:10 MSG

“If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed, but skill will bring success.”
- Ecclesiastes 10:10 NIV

I recently found myself struggling to split firewood. Upon close inspection of my maul, I realized the edge was dull. It needed to be sharpened. But I determined to not let that stop me from getting the job done. So I kept at it.  In the process I discovered that my success at wood splitting only partly depended on the sharpness of the maul. It also depended on other factors like determination, skill in my swing, and correct positioning. So I kept swinging, leveraging what I had to my advantage rather than focusing on what was missing. And I got the job done.

Strength and skill, says wise King Solomon, will bring success. This is important for us to hear for a few reasons…

1. Over-tooling leads to distraction and loss of focus. Strength and skill are crucial get-the-job- done attributes developed over time with consistent use. In the wild west of the coaching world, I’m constantly being hounded by well-meaning and some not-so-well- meaning marketing gurus and platform developers, inviting me to try out their latest and greatest strategy or tool. If I were to say yes to every offer, I’d be living below the poverty level! I would also feel extremely scattered and unfocused. Instead, I’m learning to channel my desire to succeed into good old discipline while surrounding myself with just enough tools to sharpen my duller edges.

2. Over-tooling weighs us down. Consider a carpenter’s tool belt. It has a certain number of slots and compartments. Similarly, you and I have only so much capacity. You may have more space in your tool belt than I do, but we’re all limited to some extent. Therefore we must pick and choose our tools wisely, matching them to the job at hand while asking questions like, Does this complement and/or free me up so I can lean into my strengths? Are my skills being enhanced when I use this tool?

3. Less clutter reduces stress. When it comes to decluttering, we often think in terms of our homes and material possessions. But what if we were to use the same approach as entrepreneurs toward effectively managing our digital space? Clinical Psychologist Brenna Renn, PHD states, “If we can make our home environments (more) predictable environments, it might support our mental health…Add a messy cubicle or a home office that’s 10 feet from a pile of dishes and laundry that needs folding and it’s no wonder you’re having trouble getting anything done.”  

No time seems more important for this kind of “decluttering” than the present, when our home and work environments have become one and the same!

I recently glanced around my home office and began dreaming about giving it a complete overhaul. New furnishings, new equipment, a new look and feel. I figured this would inspire me and help me do my best work. I’ve reconsidered. I’m going to wait. First of all, it’s not in the budget. More importantly, I think God is telling me to work with what He’s given me for now. To faithfully steward what I have by focusing on my unique skill set and exercising the stamina required in the work. More shiny new tools are not what I need in this season.

To summarize, having too much of a good thing can become a problem, leading to distraction, loss of focus, extra baggage, and more anxiety. The answer: Go ahead and try some new resources, tools and strategies. Discover what works for you, what’s helpful and what’s not. Then ditch the extra weight, declutter, and take action.

As a 9 on the Enneagram, I struggle with staying focused and completing a task. What I need most is not additional tools. I need to exercise the muscles of stamina, discipline and accountability. How about you? Get clarity here: Enneagram — Encompass Life Coaching

Quote from: How to Keep Decluttering Realistic | Right as Rain by UW Medicine