Soul-Care from the Cave
David was no stranger to caves. But this cave was more than a place of shelter for a tired shepherd boy. It was a place where he would learn resilience- how to relate to God in times of deep loss and confusion. How to steady his feet on God's promises and forge ahead with hope. Here are some ways we can learn, like David, to practice soul-care in the cave:
Read: I Samuel 22:1-2; Psalm 142 What does it look like to care for our own souls when hope feels like a distant memory? When what was promised is not delivered? David, forced to flee from a raging king, had made his temporary home in an abandoned cave. Bad news was imminent. Saul and his army were in hot pursuit, ready to take his life.
David was no stranger to caves. But this cave was more than a place of shelter for a tired shepherd boy. It was a place where he would learn resilience- how to relate to God in times of deep loss and confusion. How to steady his feet on God's promises and forge ahead with hope. Here are some ways we can learn, like David, to practice soul-care in the cave:
- Talk to God about your trouble. We can be brutally honest here. God is wise and sensitive, NOT fragile. He can handle our lists of complaints. I recently became extremely frustrated with a situation I was having to deal with. I was angry at others and God for not having solved my problems. In my frustration I said, "Leave me alone God! Lay off!" Those words surprised me as they came out of my mouth. I realized, however, that God was not shocked; he did not retreat. Those weren't the only words I said as I poured out my heart to Him. He heard every raw, gut-level complaint, and he loves me just the same. David said, "I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him" (Psalm 142:2). We can tell God anything. He can't break and he won't run away.
- Know He Knows. We can be assured that God knows the exact place we're in and the trajectory we're on. He knows. From inside the cave, there is a lot we can't see, much we don't know. Our vision and perspective may be limited by things outside of our control. But rather than feeling forced into a corner by our limited understanding, we can choose to take advantage of the opportunities the cave gives to relate, reflect and regroup. There is a knowing which comes from this. We begin to say with David, "When my spirit faints within me, you know my way (Psalm 142:3). Yes, He certainly does.
- Give people the benefit of the doubt. People aren't always going to be in a position to help us. We come to seasons in life when nobody seems to understand or care. Those who try to help may give simple answers to complex questions. They just don't understand. This season in the cave is between us and God. That should release us from placing the burden of making it better on anyone else, and to accept them for who they are, not what they can or cannot do about our situation. David despaired, "there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul." (Psalm 142:4) Fortunately that's not true all of the time. Just sometimes, and often in the cave.
I love how David ends his psalm in hope:
Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me. - Psalm 142:7
I'm still learning the value of the cave, the treasures which God reserves for me when I'm willing to sit in the dark with Him for a season. How do you find ways to care for your soul in life's darker seasons? I'd love to add a few more strategies to my list.
Prayer: Jesus was sent into the wilderness (Matthew 4:1). David was forced into a cave. Whether I'm being sent to the hard places or feel forced into them by circumstances beyond my control, help me to know that You know my way. May I learn life-transforming lessons while walking with You in difficult times.
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Lost in Transition
Transition Companion is now available on Amazon in both kindle and print formats!
Happy fall and thanks for putting up with my silence over the past few months. Lost in Transition is more than a catchy title for this post; it's been a reality of life. Lately, I've been feeling like the prophet's admonishment to God's people is for me:
“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Often times, my default response during a prolonged transition is to act, to do something. Ironically, the productive me is what I'm desperate to restore on the heels of transition, but God has His own timetable. Notice the sequence of the action verbs in the above verse: stand, look, ask - all components of waiting. The walking comes last, and the soul finds rest because we meet God on His terms and, not our own.
There has been some action on my part, but not the usual stuff. In September I was in Switzerland providing life coaching for men working internationally. During that time, I began to compile and publish my writings on the theme of transition.
The result is a short read titled Transition Companion, now available on Amazon in both kindle and print formats.
Check out Transition Companion here.
For two days this week - Wednesday and Thursday - I'm offering it at a promotional price of 99 cents.
What's next for Encompass Life Coaching?
• In the near future Encompass will switch over from a sole proprietorship to an LLC. Among other advantages, this step will add credibility with potential clients and partners.
• We are excited to begin partnering with churches of Northern California and Nevada by providing one-on-one and group coaching to their leadership and teams, particularly in the area of transitions.
• We have started offering discounted coaching packages for ministers and missionaries. These rates are not currently published on the web site, so help us spread the word to your pastor and missionary friends. Potential clients will need to contact us directly to see if they qualify.
Provide the gift of a personal life coach with a Christ-centered approach!
Help them get unstuck and move forward in the New Year. Why not gift a coaching package to a friend or loved one this Christmas? Just send us an email and we can give you all the details to make it happen.
Lastly, I would love to hear from some of you concerning felt needs related to this blog and other coaching resources we could potentially offer in the future. Thanks for standing by us through our own transition and the beginnings of Encompass Life Coaching.
Forever Friends and Random Places We've Lived
The ups and downs of transition are a good time to honor memories of people and places with a spirit of gratitude, to anchor ourselves in some part of our past when the future is uncertain.
Every day I ascend and descend that set of stairs in our home multiple times. Bedroom to bathroom to kitchen to family room, and all over again. Up and down. Down and up. But today it was different. I noticed something. I paused long enough to be reminded that sometimes, especially in transition, I lose sight of what's really important.
My wife thinks about everything. Looking back with gratitude is one of her strengths, and she finds creative ways to help even a nomadic family like ours to be grateful for the roots we do have. One example is the Places We Have Lived poster hung at the top of the staircase, a collection of random addresses which holds significance for us because we lived at that house number, on that street, in that town, for a season. Could have been 6 months or 6 years. Regardless, the address has a place on the poster, and in our hearts. That's what greets me at the top of the stairs.
I have some good friends back in the states who are really great about staying good friends. If you've ever lived far away from your homeland you know what I'm talking about. These are friends who make the effort to stay connected even though they live busy lives thousands of miles away.
Last year, following a trip to visit us in Turkey, they sent us a poster-sized collection of photos from our time together. It is titled "Forever Friends." The framed collage is hung at the other end of the staircase, opposite the Places We Have Lived poster. That's what greets me at the bottom of the stairs - a reminder that special people in our lives give meaning and significance to those addresses at the top of the stairs.
Two views from the stairs. One as I go up. One as I come down.
Both my wife and my friends have something in common. They know the importance of memories. They love to savor them and seal them up for a rainy day when the soul needs some encouragement. The ups and downs of transition are a good time to honor memories of people and places with a spirit of gratitude, to anchor ourselves in some part of our past when the future is uncertain.
“Memory is identity. Memory grounds us in who we are, where we’ve come from. Memory shapes us and guides us...Future identity and destiny, in other words, flower from a remembrance of things past.”
Think of the places you have lived. What kinds of feelings emerge? How could you honor those memories and the relationships connected with them? How might that help you move forward in your transition time?
“Remember those earlier days...So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.” -Hebrews 10:32, 35 NIV
Get help with your transition HERE